A collection of breastfeeding photographs & blogs

Alyse & Wyatt

2011-12-01T15:44:00.000-08:00

Aren't these two just the cutest?!Alyse couldn't decide if she wanted the indoor/studio type setting that we provide for one of the days of shooting, or the outdoor park setting, so. . . you know. . .it's a fundraiser. . . I felt charitable, and enjoy the company and she showed up for two different shoots. Though I love using this fundraiser to add to a portfolio of gorgeous breastfeeding photos that help to continue to create a positive image of breastfeeding, I'm also happy to allow families to come for mini-portrait sessions, since all of the fundraising goes to the same place. So for the second shoot, Alyse brought along her husband, we did a short family photo session and Wyatt was too busy being a toddler in a park, to want to sit down to nurse, but we did get the ONE shot in the tall grasses :) So it was probably a good thing that they'd been there for nursing portraits on Thursday first :)

World Breastfeeding Week 2011

2011-12-01T15:34:00.001-08:00

For the second year, I held a World Breastfeeding Week fundraiser to raise funds for the La Leche League group I volunteer with, as a leader. The week was another great success. I had 16 families who showed up for the photo sessions, which took place in three hour blocks, over three days and in three different locations around the Salt Lake Valley. My next set of posts will be those 16 families (three of whom chose not to have photos from their shoots shared, so really just 13 families). We had a great year, it's an AWESOME fundraiser. I love meeting the new moms, some are moms who show up for all of my fundraisers and nursing portrait promotions, but others just show up at the last minute, having heard of our fundraiser online or through a friend. We raised over $300 this year, $30+ went to LLL of UT, another $30+ went to WBW (LLL USA) and more than $250 went to our own LLL group. Thank you to all who participated!

Heather & Ren

2011-08-20T23:24:00.001-07:00

What a fun and funky pair. I can tell you that I LOVE photographing moms with tattoos. I don't know why, but it just adds a lot of great interest to these moments of sweetness. PS. . . look at these gorgeous blue eyes!

Joanna & Elijah

2011-08-13T13:36:00.000-07:00

The first mom of the day to approach and request the free nursing portrait session. And isn't she just gorgeous? There's something about ANY mom who sits down for nursing portraits, they turn to "glowing." I particularly love when a mama is completely enraptured by her baby's face, watches him, interacts with him, and acts as if I'm not there. . . plus all those great "relaxing" hormones come into play and her natural beauty just shines right through. Look at this adorable little grin

Christy & Quinn (& Zoey)

2011-08-13T11:07:00.000-07:00

A sweet friend of mine and her littles. Her two kiddos are the same ages as my own. Christy is another local leader, University instructor and amazingly cool under pressure. She recently represented on a Radio West program, for the normalcy of breastfeeding, in discussion with a woman who was proposing that breastfeeding has NONE of the percieved benefits it is associated with.

Angela & Henry (& Olivia)

2011-08-12T22:04:00.000-07:00

You can tell this little guy is "all boy" and his mama says he is so rarely without a scratch, scrape or bruise, that when I removed the gash above his eye, she hardly recognized his sweet little face.

Jocelyn, Lark, Eden & Asher

2011-08-12T21:36:00.000-07:00

Look at this sweet little family If you're a tandem nursing mama, you know how intense that can be. Imagine this. . . you nurse your little one through your pregnancy, and then you add TWO babies to your family at once!4 month old twins, Eden & Asher, share their nursing time with big sister, Lark, who is nearly 2.5. . . Tandem nursing at it's finest.Asher EdenSometimes nursing three babies looks like this. . . .someone always has to wait in line And sometimes it's just one little person at a timeNo matter what it looks like, nursing a baby, and nursing multiple babies, is a commitment of love from their mama!

Eliana & Katie (& Max)

2011-08-12T20:01:00.000-07:00

Another beautiful family who I met at Latch On America: Utah. You can tell big brother wanted to be the star of these photos :)

Hailey & Molly

2011-08-12T19:22:00.000-07:00

Is this not just the cutest little pudgy baby girl face? All from mama's milk!I met Hailey at an LLL meeting recently, and it just happened to be the same meeting I was talking about Latch On America. She's a birth educator and asked how she could get involved. And boy did she ever jump in with both feet. From July 5th to August 14th, she had a booth at Latch On America, put in to be a volunteer at the Cafe, joined our Baby Wearing Flash Mob, and offered up 90 minutes of her time and services as a silent auction item to raise funds for the Cafe!

Latch On America

2011-08-12T17:14:00.001-07:00

July 1 I get an email saying that Milk For Thought is coming to our town. We've been selected as one of 35ish stops on a nationwide documentary tour starting mid-July and ending the first week of August. There was a conference call, a committee formed, and our tasks began. I returned home from a trip in CA and went head first into working for Latch On America: Utah, which would be held on July 22nd, taking the title "Events Coordinator." With the help of others, particularly Karin Hardman, UBC president, who made calls to all of the health care facilities that would be involved, and Melissa Knighton, who helped me contact AGAIN all of our Baby Friendly Businesses plus some, we made 50 or so calls to invite businesses and create an event. We created and mailed out packets with advertisements, invitations, fliers, goals and agreements.On Friday July 22nd something like 17 booths/businesses set up on the North East lawn of Main Library square in downtown SLC, UT with a 40 foot pink bus as our main event.The booths held free drawings, offered screenings, music classes, giveaways, information, games and more. We also had two acoustic musicians and a facepainter on site.For my part, I not only coordinated the events, I also had my hand in making sure three specific booths were set up, La Leche League, Breastfeeding Cafe, and my own photography booth, Landslide Photography.I REALLY wanted to have a photo booth at the event, offering free nursing portraits. In fact, one little detail. . . EVERYTHING had to be free. We couldn't sell a single thing on the lawn that day. I'd offered to the two other photographers who are represented in the Breastfeeding Cafe space, that we could rotate, each offering an hour of photos. One of the ladies already offers a cool product at the Farmer's Market each weekend, but she works in film, and again, we couldn't SELL anything, but she couldn't do it for free. The other didn't like the idea of "photo booth" style. Crazy as it was, I REALLY wanted to do this, I also knew it was a great opportunity to showcase my business. . . it was totally free, I was the event coordinator, WHY NOT?!!!Mike ended up manning my booth half the time. My friend Christy's "milk donation center" booth, ended up being the favorite hangout for all of the kids. Airi was out of her mind tired, not having taken a nap before heading down at 2pm, and not leaving the event until 8pm. But she pushed through and made it without any break downs the whole day. I was running around like crazy, but somehow didn't get to visit ANY booths.At 2pm, we (and that means the three husbands of the ladies who had agreed to man my three booths) put up two sunshades, three tables, a bean bag toss, and a ton of information. The wind kept blowing our papers away and photos (even in poster frames) down or whipping them around. I held a drawing at my booth, for a free "mini-portrait session" and I also offered free MICRO-nursing portrait sessions. I had TEN moms participate in the free sessions, and probably 15 or 20 entered my drawing.It was SUCH a fabulous day. The Latch On America/Milk for Thought crew held interviews all day, there were a few news stations and photographers, and a couple of hundred people probably milled through during the day. It seemed like there were some great giveaways, but I barely got any of them.GREAT event, GREAT day. We coined it as "Bringing together our Baby Friendly Community and highlighting a LIVING resource guide for breastfeeding." It certainly lived up to expectation and served its purpose in the community. The next series of photos will be from those sessions held at Latch On America.

Influential Parenting

2011-07-23T09:35:00.001-07:00

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about how you influence others. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

I think that influencing others goes along with nursing in public, even if public is sometimes just in front of a friend. Nursing isn't the only way that I hope I influence mothers around me, I HOPE in front of others (and usually behind closed doors, and sometimes neither of those times am I great at it) that I show mothers around me that I am sensitive to my children, that I view my children as people who are worthy of my time, attention, trust and respect. That sometimes that means bending when others may think I should hold a hard line. And all of that starts with breastfeeding, with nursing a newborn whenever she needs it, with noticing the cues of an older, busier baby who needs to nurse, perhaps when she's hurt, or worried, or feels a little anxious about the social situation. Sometimes that means nursing a bumped up newly walking tot, yeah, even one with a full set of teeth and WORDS, and an ability to tell me when she needs to nurse. . .she's actually ALWAYS been able to TELL me when she needs to nurse, and my daughters and I have built our relationships on a mutual trust that I will notice her needs and tend to them. Did you know that nursing is a NEED for small children, a need to be near mom in the early YEARS is as essential as the actual sustenance provided through nursing.

In a general sense I influence those around me to view breastfeeding as the biological norm, by my willingness to discuss it openly. I talk about breastfeeding in a way that others recognize I view it as COMPLETELY normal. . . to do and to talk about. I don't quiet my voice, I don't try to discuss it privately (unless there is a sensitive situation), I don't shy away from sharing information if someone asks. I FREELY say the word "breastfeeding" which is a little humorous, since before I had children, "breast" was a word that I HATED to use. I had a set of three words I hated hearing or using. . . that was one. Not because of any sort of sexual connotation, I just didn't like the way it sounded as a word. I digress.

I have a close friend who recently told me that I'd really influenced her as a mother, through her pregnancy, from the very rough start of her son's life and through the extra rough "months" long start of their breastfeeding relationship, but I hadn't just influenced her with regards to her pushing through some rough stuff to continue nursing, I'd also influenced her and inspired her as a mother. That is something that does any mama's heart good to hear, and any friend's too! I hope that my influence and inspiration for her, were that of listening to her own heart and following her baby's cues (I know they were). I want to be sure that I never "influence" people to do it just like me, but instead, to trust themselves.

I hope that my mothering, coupled with my natural attitude of not worrying much about what others think (though in the quiet of my own home, I do rant a bit about it), I can influence and inspire other mothers to trust themselves as mothers, to seek support for the things they already KNOW they want their parenting to be about, and to be willing to shun popular opinion, in order to continue building a relationship of trust and respect with their babies, despite what others around them might say or pressure them into, if it goes against their personal parenting philosophies.

Breastfeeding is the building block for a relationship with your child(ren). . . sure, NOT breastfeeding is also a building block, EVERYTHING is a building block. .. what kind of structure are you purposing to build? A foundation built on mutual respect and trust gives a child tools for a lifetime, but a foundation built on "my" schedule, "my" wants, "my" desires, believing a child to be something less than a "PERSON" is a foundation that does not set up our children to succeed. I hope that mothers will see the foundation my husband and I both are working to build with our children and seek to do the same.

I'm bouncing around a bit. As a wrap up I'd like to say "the proof is in the pudding." There was a time when my own family probably felt (and maybe still do) that they did not understand my parenting, my joy over cosleeping, my desire to continue nursing my child WELL past an age anyone in my family had nursed or understood nursing to be important, my hope to homeschool, not that these ALL necessarily go hand in hand, but it's a path of motherhood I never saw myself taking before children. And tentatively they have watched the story unfold, questioning me along the way, sometimes out loud, sometimes to one another, I'm sure, and as the story has unfolded, it has been revealed that my kid isn't messed up. . . so what I'm doing must be a fine job :) And my biggest hope in that, is that my own sister, as she moves into a stage of her life where she plans to have children, will consider that there might be a way of parenting outside of the scope of what she has viewed in her life as a daughter and a nanny. My hope for her, particularly, is that she will FOR ONCE, not try to take the alternate path to the one I've taken :) But instead see the benefits for a child, by considering the same route.

Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Renee @ Just the 5 of us!-You Can Do It!

Sylko @ Chaotic Mama-Breastfeeding Carnival: Day 14 Final Day

Timbra @ Bosoms and Babes-Influential Parenting

Judy @ Mommy News & Views Blog-Helping Moms to Breastfeed

Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl-Knowledge is Power

Laura @ Day by Day in Our World-Influencing Others on Their Breastfeeding Journey

And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s blog today is Shelly Poole-Breastfeeding, The True Story

Who Wrote the Book of Love?

2011-07-23T09:34:00.008-07:00

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about your favorite parenting books. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

I have SO little time to read anything new these days. I'd prefer a SOUND book recommendation from someone who knows me, so I don't have to waste my LITTLE reading time on something that just doesn't fit.

Here are some of my personal favorites and very empowering books that didn't make me feel like "I'm reading a book in order to learn how to parent my children," but instead these are books that either 1)validated or 2)empowered me.

A MUST have for ALL breastfeeding mothers, the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. Had it not been for almost accidentally purchasing this book before my first daughter was born, I would not be the mother or lactivist that I am today. I read this book cover to almost cover in the five weeks before my daughter came. I had a hard time relating only because I knew a girl was on the way, but the whole book refers to "he," this is so that mom and baby are never mixed up in the context and it's apparent. I also didn't buy into any of the "beautiful relationship" stuff. . . until I had that baby. And I'm just so thankful I read this book. When we moved back to the US very suddenly, I was like a fish out of water, since we didn't move back to the hometown we'd been in before. I decided I was in a place in my life where I wanted to find other people who were like-minded in their parenting (or could help guide me even further in the parenting I desired to give my baby) as well as in the same stage of their lives. I went to an LLL meeting not quite two months after moving to UT and I've never looked back (and I have made ALL of my best friends here in UT through LLL). If you don't have the time or patience for Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, use it as a resource guide, flip around to topics you like.

Other fabulous reads, as a supplement to Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, I also love the simplicity of Martha Sears' Breastfeeding Book, particularly the beginning section on the deficiencies of formula. I've probably read a pretty outdated version, but love it nonetheless and the principles hold true.

I read a couple of chilbirth books, but none come CLOSE to the amazing and empowering writing of Ina May Gaskin. . . This book, read in the middle of my second pregnancy, was the most empowering book with regards to body image, birth, and just being a woman. I will give it as a gift to ANY woman soon to give birth, because her words are SO empowering that I could never even THINK to come close to giving someone the same type of image of themselves as women, so I'll just let her speak.

Your Amazing newborn is beautiful if for nothing else, lots of photos of BRAND NEW babies! But the information is also stellar.

Adventures in Tandem Nursing and Mothering Your Nursing Toddler are two books I'd never want to find myself without. Mothering Your Nursing Toddler gave me so much support within myself in moments when those around me have given a glance, an eye roll, or even a comment that questions my decision not to FORCE independence. One of my favorite (and this is a paraphrase for sure) sections of the book refers to children who are allowed to choose their natural rate of becoming more independent, and how they become secure adults, however, the converse is true for children who are forced to detach from their parents. This book reminded (or maybe brought to light to me for the first time) that I am raising PEOPLE, not just "children." Adventure in Tandem nursing is just a great read for ANY pregnant mother who is still nursing an older child, and maybe just for any mother who has nursed and is pregnant. . . tandem parenting is equally as difficult, it not more so, when you no longer have the tool of nursing, particularly a toddler, when a newborn comes on scene.

When it comes to parenting, I probably need to reread "how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk". . . I read it when the principles didn't quite apply to the age my first daughter was, but I think I've lost sight of some if it, in the insanity of having two kids who run to embrace one another upon wake up ONE morning and then start kicking each other, whining and crying upon wake up the very next day! :) By the same authors "Siblings without rivalry" is an even better read. The five love languages of children is a MUST READ for all parents who are interested in gentle parenting of their children. And my current read (I don't have a lot of time for reading, so I could be reading this until my 5 year old goes off to high school) is "Hold on to your kids." I hear my own words resonating back to me from the pages, things I've observed about our culture, particularly our local culture here in UT, but wasn't able to really put a social phenomenon with, so again, it's just a reminder that I'm not crazy, that I'm raising PEOPLE, who I want to see into responsible and beautiful and independent, secure adulthood, and still have our relationship FULLY and lovingly intact.

I feel like this is the ENTIRE list of books I've ever read on the subject of birth, breastfeeding and parenting. . .I really feel that getting a good recommendation on a book, from someone who knows and understands your desires (birth, breasfeeding or parenting) helps to weed out a bunch of stuff that doesn't apply and will waste your time and energy by reading through it. I hope these recommendations pique your interest and give you some good food for thought. Happy Reading. Can't wait to read other recommendations.

Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Renee @ Just the 5 of us!-I Love Books

Timbra @ Bosoms and Babes-Who Wrote the Book of Love?

Laura @ Day by Day in Our World-Favorite Books to Help on the Breastfeeding Journey

Amy @ Anktangle-Book Review and Giveaway: The Nursing Mother's Companion; Five Winners! {8/30, Worldwide}

Breastfeeding Rocks

2011-07-23T09:34:00.005-07:00

This topic is so wide open. There are all the answers I know now, as a support person for breastfeeding mothers. But why was breastfeeding important to me when I made that decision before having a baby? It was really completely utilitarian. And then I had a baby, and I realized, for her, it was all but utilitarian. I loved watching her fatten up, living solely on mommy's milk. Even the night I ate something that kept her up all night, I love that I became aware, immediately, that the foods I choose, effect her. . . and eventually, when she was no longer reliant on my milk for her sole nutrition, I still had to carry the responsibility for choosing foods that would add to her wellness and quality of life. Nursing made me sensitive to my baby's needs and it reminded me to stop and hang out with her a while. I've always been a woman on "the go" and a little reminder from an itty person every 90 minutes or so, to sit down, relax, take in a show, take a nap, nurse a baby, hold her close. . . those were reminders I needed :)

I try to search my memory for anyone who encouraged me to breastfeed, but it was sort of a non-issue, I wasn't looking for reasons not to. I went to a group of ob/gyns in CA and before we were able to see our doctor, I had to go to a "class" with others, all expecting babies about the same time as ours. This class was to give us a rundown of how often we would see the doc, what each appointment would be about and of course to create a payment plan. One of the things that happened during that "class" was that there was an offer to get a free parenting book THAT day, if we were willing to sign up on a mailing list. . . I think it was an Emfamil list. I think we got a book along with a packet of coupons, a little bag and a can. I saved that little can, I took that can with me to Fiji, but by the time my little girl was born, I'd read all of Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and realized that I wouldn't be needing that can, and that I'd just pump if I needed to leave milk behind for any reason. It was few and far between that this was needed, the pumped milk, but it was really easy enough.

I've said it a few time here, but breastfeeding has always just sort of been part of the scenery. It's always been part of the story of my life, woven in here and there. There weren't people who had to talk me into its benefits. If anything, there are probably a couple of people in my life would like to now talk me OUT of the benefits of extended nursing and all the other parenting decisions that have come along with my embracing of who I am and have chosen to be, as a mother. I've heard it before, and I think it's the right answer for me too "Breastfeeding is so important to me, because it's so important to her." (Both of my "hers.")

Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Renee @ Just the 5 of us!-Reasons

Sylko @ Chaotic Mama-Breastfeeding Carnival Day 11

Ashley @ Adventures with my Monkeys-Breastfeeding Carnival Day 11: Importance of Breastfeeding

Timbra @ Bosoms and Babes-Breastfeeding Rocks

And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s blog today is Jasmine Jafferali, MPH-Why is Breastfeeding Important to Me

Baby Wearing 5 years strong

2011-07-23T09:34:00.003-07:00

July 06. . . 4 weeks old. . .Fiji Oct 06. . . first Trip to the US. . . 4 monthsBack Home Oct 2006 . . .one time wonder, daddy does the carrying June 07 (My sister carrying my daughter, day after her first birthday). . . Gardner Village July 07. . . Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Book Release PartyMarch 08 FINALLY got my mei tai. . .21 months Tried it out in OK
April 08 WAJuly 08. . . 25 months. . . Steve Miller Band Concert (awesome to be wearing her especially after dark) November 08. . . .UH YEAH. . .NKOTB concert November 08 Seattle. . . Just shy of 2.5 years. . . totally asleep
There was pregnant baby wearing in between
September 09 . . . . 4 weeks old. . .my view of a nursing babe in a mei tai at the Zoo same trip. . . Who says the Moby has a suggested weight limit? October 09. . . 3 years 3 months and 34lbs Special Ladybug Mei Tai made by my friend Heather . . . custom for my halloween costume January 2010. . . Carriage Ride in SLCWater "moby" Two Girls. . . two mei tais. . . 50lbs of pure L-O-V-E (3.5 years and 5months) And the babywearing rubs off. . .Summer 2010 October 2011. . . Gallivan Center Monster Block Party December 2011 Lights on Temple Square April 2011 Whitney Gardens, WABaby Wearing Flash Mob practices Summer 2011 :)

Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Amy @ Toddler in Tow-Wordless Wednesday Babywearing!

Ashley @ Adventures with my Monkeys-Breastfeeding Carnival Day 10: Wordless Wednesday Babywearing Style

Amy @ Anktangle-Meals On-the-Go

Xela @ The Happy Hippie Homemaker-Wordless Wednesday: Babywearing Photos

Timbra @ Bosoms and Babes-Babywearing 5 Years Strong

Lauren @ Hobo Mama-Babywearing a Newborn

Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl-Pregnant Babywearing

Renee @ Just the 5 of us!-I Miss Snuggly Sling Days

And of course on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s blog today-Wordless Wednesday: Babywearing Flash Mob Video

Tandem Mommyhood

2011-07-23T09:34:00.001-07:00

Until I began writing, I did not realize that this was more the story of my motherhood, how it surrounds breastfeeding my children. You are welcome to stay a while and read it through, it's a bit lengthy.

I guess when it comes to breastfeeding and multiples, I've done it all now. . . :) And I only have two kids. It's been a journey I never would have ever in a million years even imagined I'd have taken, I probably didn't even, in a million years, imagine it was one that COULD be taken.

The day I found out I was pregnant with my second child, I cried. I cried because, the thing that prompted me to take a test, was how sick I felt. . . I couldn't believe I didn't have ANY moments of enjoying the news without already feeling icky and I knew I'd be dealing with that for two more months. I cried because I knew everything would change. My firstborn would no longer be my only baby. I knew it was possible this pregnancy would cause her to wean (she was 2.5 at the time). I cried because things were rought in our house at the time, not necessarily between my husband and I, but because of his job, which he hated, he was always tired and mostly depressed, and I was on my own, even when he was home. . . how would I deal with 3 months of feeling like crap? AND taking care of a toddler? How would I survive months of getting bigger and bigger, and CHASING a toddler? We had so little to do when I was pregnant with my first daughter, and I knew we would not, could not, sit around enjoying this pregnancy, just watching and waiting, as we had the first time around. Everything was different, and I cried! And then I nursed my baby, because she needed it and I needed it. And I took photos of my daughter nursing, because I was afraid that would end too soon.

Little did I know, it would take YEARS for that part of our relationship to come to a close. She nursed straight through my pregnancy. About 3 weeks after I found out I was pregnant, New Year's Eve, she night weaned suddenly and I assumed it was the beginning of that transition. The night weaning was fine with me, she only nursed one time at 3:30am at this point. Okay, it happened one night and then we were back and forth for a few weeks, by Valentine's Day, she was the HARDEST sleeper I'd ever seen. This, a child who would wake to nurse any time I got up to pee or stirred her in bed and HAD to nurse back to sleep, could sleep through anything now. It was sort of a lovely little blessing. I laugh when people tell me how they had to "train" their children to sleep SO THAT they would be good sleepers when they get older. . . it actually causes the opposite affect. My kid is a FANTASTIC sleeper now, she still sleeps with us, and she nursed at night until she was 2.5.

The months went on, soon, she was not nursing to sleep anymore. For nearly 3 years of her life, this was of NECESSITY, I could count on one hand the number of times she's EVER gone to sleep without nursing off to slumber. We began having milkies for "twinkle twinkle little star" and then she'd kiss me goodnight and I'd hold her until she fell asleep. This was a surpising one for me, I'd always heard that those "favorite" nursing times were the last ones little people give up, even after they were almost completely weaned. This was another blessing for my pregnant body, it became difficult for me to nurse on my right side, because I just felt so sick at night and frantically wanted to turn to my left side. We still enjoyed sweet cuddles and I wasn't feeling crazy because she wouldn't stop nursing.

There were times it was irritating, times I'd have to ask her to relatch because it was driving me crazy or hurting me. But we'd built a relationship of sensitivity to one another's needs, between us, and she, little as she was, somehow seemed to understand, to be willing and forgiving as we paved the unwalked path.

By the end of my pregnancy, at term, I'd had stripping and cohosh twice. The second time worked well. But it was my daughter's nursing I would credit with the final move into hard labor. Around 5pm she nursed off to sleep (she was still nursing to sleep for naps and mornings, I found out, were her ACTUAL favorite nursing times, she always wanted to nurse first thing in the morning) it was then that my contractions went into full force, while she slept, I labored at home. She woke, wandered out into the living room and found her mom leaning over a huge labor ball that was on top of the couch. I tried to sweetly say hello and welcome her to the next part of the day, I scooped her up and sat her on the ball, leaned over her little legs and worked through another contraction. She didn't seem upset, maybe a little worried, she'd held my hand late at night once while I puked my guts out in the bathroom earlier in my pregnancy.

Little girl 2 came into our world just 2 hours after this. And after introductions and checking over, we all went to sleep in one big bed, I nursed one, and the other. I was thankful at this time that my little one no longer needed nursing off to sleep, that we had a good night time ritual established and she was easy with it. She would nurse and be held until sleep.

Three days into this adventure of tandem MOMMY-HOOD, my littlest one ended up in the hospital. I wasn't able to nurse her for 20 hours. I had to pump. I became very engorged that same evening, I was also separated from my toddler for the first night EVER. Four the following four days I had a schedule of seeing my older daughter sometime during the day, around the hospital, and then coming home late in the evening to shower, grab things for the next day and nurse my little girl, even if she was already asleep, with my sister in the living room, I'd take her off to bed and nurse her. We both needed it, for reconnect, and I needed it because of the relief, I was thankful she was still nursing. She would fall asleep with me, and because she was such a hard sleeper now, I would leave her, head back to the hospital and she'd wake up with daddy in the morning.

We landed in the hospital a second time four days after discharge, and went through the same schedule, except, at least this time, my older daughter could come into the room to see her sister and I. But I slept four nights away, which was rough on everyone.

For some period of time, after we were finally home and settled for good, I was able to nurse my girls at the same time together, it didn't last long, maybe 3 or 4 months. Around October (only 6 weeks in to my tandem mommy-hood) we had an incident at a friend's house where my daughter was sick (and I didn't realize it yet), she got upset during the party and asked in front of all of my friends if she could have milkies. I shot her a horrible glance, and quickly whispered in her ear not to talk about it again. These friends were already a little weirded out by my nursing so blatantly in front of everyone at the party.

We spent about a week with my older daughter being sick, but she didn't want to nurse much, something I found very strange, since nursing had ALWAYS been the thing she wanted to do constantly whenever she'd been sick. We had a talk one day about whether she'd been saying no to nursing because I'd given her that mean look at the party, she admitted that was why. I had a good cry over that. I realized I wasn't ready for her to wean and CERTAINLY not because her mommy had been MEAN to her about nursing. If she was going to wean, I didn't want the last memory between us to be how I'd shamed her in to never nursing again :( We had a good talk, but I geared myself up for this being the end, she wasn't quite 3.5.

I never thought I'd be nursing a child over the age of 3 (there were times I never imagined over the age of 6 months, a year, 2 years. . .along the journey). I NEVER thought I'd be nursing TWO children at the same stage of my life, unless I had twins, and I CERTAINLY never imagined being sad about weaning my child at this age. But, here I was, gearing up for the heartbreak of weaning and sadness of having made her feel ashamed about something that she loved so very much, that we both loved, together, so very much.

A week later we headed to CA, she was still nursing a little here and there, I'd written a couple of dear friends to tell them the story of the week past and to say I was gearing up for her possibly weaning, they assured me, loved me, said kind things and gave me good reminders about extra cuddles and creating special times. I still had a nursling. . . I still had an itty bitty baby who needed every part of me! This was a strange balance indeed. During that trip I had a little talk with my big girl one day and said "You don't need to talk with Auntie and Grannie about milkies okay?" "Okay." And an hour later, at dinner, she announces to my mom, "Mommy says we don't need to talk to Grannie about milkies". . .CAT OUT OF THE BAG. . .funny moment for all?!

Sometimes nursing two children was very frustrating, particularly because my older daughter still required nursing to sleep for a nap, and I HAD to have her napping!!! But my younger daughter was not a fan of being away from her mother for more than about 30 seconds at any given time. It seemed that whenever my eldest would be fluttering her lids, slowly letting them get heavy, that would be the time my younger would start squawking with her daddy in the livingroom and we'd have to start the whole thing over again. But those moments, those IN the moment frustratations, I stopped feeling those the second one or the other would go off to sleep, and the overall memory of being able to provide two very different, but specific needs for two different girls, is worth it. Nursing my younger was more difficult because she rarely let me put her down for a nap until she was about 11 months old. It was difficult to get in a lot of extra cuddles with my older daughter during the stage when my little one was too big to share a lap but still wouldn't sleep alone for a nap! We've made it through.

It would be another 8 months from that party incident, before I'd have to finally encourage weaning. We began pushing for the "4 year mark." Two days after this little girl turned 4, she got a horrible ear infection . . .again, glad I was nursing her and that I hadn't been "hard core" about the timeline. A friend asked me one day, online, whether that "4th birthday" was "hard and fast?" I had to rethink my feelings on the matter. I decided no, that this would be a year of weaning. For two months she didn't ask to nurse, and then over the next year, every 2 or 3 months she would request it once in a while. I noticed every time we visited family, she would come home after a week of visits and ask to nurse. Sometimes I said no and distracted, sometimes I allowed it. Even now, she's 5. . . she's nursed a couple of times in the past month since her birthday, it wasn't my plan or intention, but I've always tried to trust my child. We have had good, age appropriate discussions along the way about moving into new parts of our relationship, that don't include nursing. It's hard for her, it's hard for me to watch my baby grow up, but she will never outgrow the need for ME, because of the relationship we have established.

On the other side, it has been funny to watch my younger daughter "offer" her milkies to her big sister on occasion. They share a sweet sister relationship that I believe was set off to a good balance because the thing that was MOST important in my older daughter's life, was not "taken" from her as she journeyed into big sisterhood, she was not "replaced" by this little person. They have their sister quarrels, but there is love and honesty and respect growing between them. This was not the journey I ever expected to take, but it is the one that has fit us and served us well. I lamented to myself along the way about how my younger daughter and I, have never had an exclusive nursing relationship with one another, but I just realize that every child has a unique story, and this is hers.

Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Xela @ The Happy Hippie Homemaker-How Tandem Nursing Saves My Sanity!

Ashley @ Adventures with my Monkeys-Breastfeedng Carnival Day 9: Breastfeeding and Multiples

Sylko @ Chaotic Mama-Breastfeedng Carnival Day 9

Natasha @ Natural Urban Mama-Our version of "Milk Sharing"!

Timbra @ Bosoms and Babes-Tandem Mommyhood

Christina @ From One Momma to Another-Breastfeeding and Multiples: Breastfeeding Cafe

Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl-How Breastfeeding Through Pregnancy Helps ME

And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s blog today is Heather Simpson-Breastfeeding My Toddler Through Pregnancy

Part of the Scenery

2011-07-23T09:33:00.002-07:00

Wow, I can't even remember the first time I nursed in public. I loved being able to wear Alani from about 3 weeks on, because I could easily nurse her without anyone even knowing. It was always a little tricky, but I felt stealth :) I lived in Fiji when she was born, and mothers there complemented me on my ability to nurse her while holding her in my lap, sitting down on the ground, cross legged. I think they liked that an American woman would nurse her baby just the same way they did. I also think that doing it in front of others was important for them because it was like we were all equal, not a mindset that they have frequently. Sometimes I would head out to the porch to nurse her while others were gathered inside, just because I was new at it.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I felt uncomfortable about nursing my first daughter in public after about the age of 1, except in certain circumstances, but became MORE comfortable about it again when she was between the ages of 18 months and 2 years, due to the support of those around me. And now, with my second daughter, I don't even bat an eye at the thought of nursing her in public at 23 months old.

I don't remember the first time I saw someone nurse a baby in front of me. I'm SURE I saw my mom nurse my sister, I was 4 when she was born. It's possible I watched my aunt nurse my cousin, I was 11 at the time. It's likely that I witnessed it with ladies at church in my teen years. It wasn't really on my radar. Or maybe it just wasn't impressionable because I never thought to feed a baby a different way and those who did nurse in front of me, didn't pause or hesitate, they just weaved it into their lives, so it didn't stand out as something uncomfortable or different. Which brings me back to why it's so important to nurse in public. . . no glitches, just weaving it in. Then it becomes, to those around, especially the small people, part of the scenery, part of the assumption that this is the way things are, this is normalcy. And they look back through their lives thinking "When WAS the first time someone nursed in front of me? Hmm, I can't remember, it seems like it's just always been!"

I know that I must have witnessed babies being nursed, or at least it being talked about, because in my mind there was no other way that I thought it would be for me, it apparently has always been part of my scenery, I just don't remember when that became the case.
Here's the new bottom code:

Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Ashley @ Adventures with my Monkeys-Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival Day 8: First Nursing in Public Experience

Renee @ Just the 5 of us!-In Good Company

Sylko @ Chaotic Mama-Breastfeeding Carnival Day 8

Timbra @ Bosoms and Babes-Part of the Scenery

Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl-My Nursing in Public Journey

Shelly @ Lousy Mom-My First Time Breastfeeding in Public

And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s blog today is Hailey Maloney-First Experience Nursing in Public

What's the Online Appeal?

2011-07-23T09:33:00.001-07:00

I should probably sit this one out, but I'll make a few comments.

I was never part of any online forum, in fact, I've never understood the appeal, but I suppose in an age where we find most of our community online and not with face to face contact, it makes sense.

I will say, that recently a friend of mine was having a struggle with her daughter, her JUST 2 year old daughter. She went online to find an answer, and she found an answer alright. And then she posted about it online too. I was saddened that she had such lack of support system that she'd go online to an unknown community to seek advice, I was horrified at the action she took, and appalled that finding the information online somehow made it correct and justifiable. Most of all, I was confused why someone would go ONLINE and ask the advice, or read the advice of a perfect stranger, to help her make a parenting decision. To me, this goes against everything I understand and try to instill in mothers I've worked with, "trust thyself."

So, perhaps here I'd like to ask my own question, what is the appeal?

Living in a country, not my own, when my oldest daughter was born, I was SO thankful for the internet, in order to talk with some mamas I knew and trusted, to use them as sounding boards while I walked the road of the unknown, but I would not and could not have trusted those questions, concerns, fears and even the good stuff, to a forum of mothers I'd never met, and likely never would. Again, I'm sure that when we do not have support systems in place, this is a way to seek a support system, almost anonymously, so perhaps that is why it is an appealing means of forming community. That said, I am then, extra thankful today for the women in my life who I knew I could turn to and trust along the way, and that I DID and do have a support system, when it comes to breastfeeding, but also just in my mothering.

Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Shelly @ Lousy Mom-If you could ask everyone in the world

Ashley @ Adventures with my Monkeys-Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival Day 7: Online Breastfeeding

Timbra @ Bosoms and Babes-What’s the Online Appeal?

Sylko @ Chaotic Mama-Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival Day 7

And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s blog today is Claire Lindstrom-Breastfeeding Online

The Birth of Me: Halfway Around the World

2011-07-23T09:31:00.000-07:00

I've decided not to rewrite, this is the post I put up last year, it continues to be the birth of me:

The birth of a first child is in essence, the birth of a mother. We have hopes and dreams for our babies, we think we know exactly what kind of mothers we will be and what kind of birth we will have. . . . but until you have experienced birth, until you have been BORN as a mother, it is almost impossible to envision the birth experience you really desire. Second babies have it easy :)

Bare with me as I share some of the details of the birth of my first daughter. They are so important to me and to the prompt because as I mentioned in my previous post, my first daughter was not born in the US. My experience, therefore, with regards to labor, birth and breastfeeding are vastly different from the stories of sterile hospital births I hear about in the US.

Before I was ever pregnant with her, I had intention to birth in a birth center 40 minutes away from my home. I wanted a water birth. However, just weeks prior to becoming pregnant, my husband and I made a decision to move out of the country and gave ourselves a "pregnancy deadline" which would eventually determine her country of birth. Things didn't go as planned, and in the end, we landed in this new country only FIVE WEEKS before our little girl was "due." (we should have been there five MONTHS before).

By the time we arrived we'd seen 7 female doctors/midwifes for prenatal care due to our moving around while waiting on visas. Five weeks gave us very little time to interview doctors and research birth options once we finally arrived. In fact, I'd lived in this country once before and was close friends with a Doula (when I was 19 and husbandless and had NO idea what a doula was, what she did or why she might EVER be important or necessary). And from that experience I knew that an out of hospital birth (though it likely happened all the time among the local people) was not a likely option unless I knew someone who knew someone who was either in the country visiting at the time (a doula, a midwife, etc) or had a relative who happened to have a birth pool and attended births. Unfortunately, I didn't have the kind of time on my side to be able to figure all of that out. The best I had worked out was that a mutual friend put me in contact with another American woman who had given birth to 3 of her 4 children in this country and through her I was able to find someone who fit my ONLY requirement. . . a female doctor! Not a female doctor she'd had experience with, as her own ob/gyn had since retired, but a female ob/gyn nonetheless.

I am SO thankful that the individual who attended to me when I gave birth to my first daughter, was a woman! It's not common, even in the US, let alone a developing country to have a female ob/gyn attending a birth, but I was fortunate that this one request was filled. My beautiful Dr. Litiana Browne, was a confident 60-something year old Fijian woman.

My husband and I had agreed (ahead of time)to some medications during my labor, as well as requesting an induction so that my family, who had traveled 3000 miles to be there for the birth of this first grandchild/niece, would not have to leave without having met our little girl. Had I known what I now know, I would have made different choices. . . but when you know better, you do better and it was, in essence, the birth we chose and planned with the knowledge and information we had (or chose to have). Fortunately, none of this seemed to have had adverse affect on the outcome of her birth or our first nursing experience. My birth as a mother was NOTHING like the stories I hear of here in the States. . . .I was induced by a doctor who did not endorse epidurals and actually said to me "How can you be in control of your labor if everyone is standing over you looking down at you?," (to be clear, I was NEVER interested in one) a woman who (in her 60s) had very few times found need to perform a cesarean. She slept at the hospital all night, waiting on me to have my baby (I was the only woman giving birth in that hospital that night). When I said I needed to push, the nurse did not ask me to wait, she asked to check how far dialated I was, and allowed me to begin pushing (never telling me my "number"). . .while squatting. . . before the Doctor ever arrived. When the Doctor arrived she checked my progress (while I was squatting) then stood in another part of the room speaking in their native language and laughing quietly (not about me. . . just talking, because birth was NORMAL) while my husband sat in a chair behind me, being my rock, and I stood and squatted, and pushed and felt my baby's head crown before anyone else knew her head was coming. A few details are hazy, after I climbed onto the bed and pushed her out with 2 final pushes. . .a head and her body. . .while on "all fours" and I shouted "Do we have a baby?" Despite what I am about to say with regards to how it is taken for granted that a mother WILL breastfeed, unfortunately, Western birth practices have weaseled their way into all sorts of cultures. My baby's cord was cut, before I even had a chance to turn over and see her, she was whisked just a few feet away onto a warming table, she was wiped up and checked over and it was an hour before I think I actually held her. . . though, it didn't feel that long and I don't remember it being that long, my photos are time stamped so I KNOW it was that long. Part of this was due to my needing stitching. But. . . this was the first time I'd ever had a baby, and I didn't know anything about delayed clamping, I didn't take the "immediate skin to skin" stuff I'd read, to heart, and truthfully, I didn't know if I should be responsible for holding a newborn baby while being stitched up.

I had some tearing, but this culture is not interested in numbers, and so my doctor stitched me without telling me "the degree" of tearing and within the first hour I was able to try to nurse my baby for the first time. After my family came to see her and oogle over her and then left (because they had actually been awake the ENTIRE time I had been awake 8am to 6am at this point) I was able to nurse her again. A nurse-midwife (all the nurses were nurse-midwifes) came to check on us, I said "Am I doing this right?" She said "you have a bit of a flat nipple" perked it up for me (a little odd, but seriously, all pretense is gone after giving birth) and that was that. . . my baby latched and nursed happily. . . for the next few years!!!
In part I believe this is because there is a big push in this particular country to return to breastfeeding. Like many foreign countries, when the US says something is good, others follow. . . . many years later. . . .Formula became the norm for many years, however, in the 10 years prior to the birth of my daughter, education (for nurses) on the importance and superiority of breastfeeding over formula and a push to encourage mothers to breastfeed, had become normal practice (again) in the hospitals. There was no question as to whether I would breastfeed my baby. No one offered me a bottle, or was concerned about whether she was eating.
They waited 4 hours to weigh her for the first time. I didn't have to request she not be given a pacifier or formula. I didn't have to request to room in with her. . . in fact, my husband held our daughter while I was being tended to and when I fell asleep after holding and nursing her for a bit, he held her for two more hours, my husband held my baby because a bassinet just "couldn't be located" (there were TWO birthing rooms in this hospital, across the hall from one another. . . the "overnight" rooms were not just for moms, they were for people recovering from surgery and illness too. . .AND. . . I was the only person giving birth in the hospital that night. . . there was ONE other baby in the nursery. . .where could all the bassinets have run off to?). So, until my husband was falling asleep, sitting up in a chair, with our newborn infant in his arms, no one helped him, not even a little. 3 hours after her birth, they brought a bassinet and took her to the nursery (one room away) and 15 minutes later I woke up (I guess even after being awake 24 hours straight and giving birth, when a new baby is taken from the presence of a new mom who is dead asleep. . .she knows it!). We immediately went to the nursery, I needed to gawk at that baby some more, and then they bathed and weighed her and she never left my presence again until we checked out (except for 10 minutes for vaccinations). When I hear about hospital experiences here in the US, I am actually appalled. The sterility, the push for formula, the worry over glucose levels, the shots, the eye goop. . . . (and that's just AFTER baby comes. . . I am even MORE appalled at all the "red tape" moms go through while in labor, all the encouragements to USE MORE INTERVENTIONS).

My second daughter was born in the US, in a water birth, in a birth center, without complication. She latched and nursed within the first half hour as we lay in bed together, we never left one another. Her story is simple. My first daughter took 15 hours to make her way, technically, my second daughter took 5 days :)So. . . in a culture that assumes every woman can and will breastfeed. . . there was no question, there was no option. . .there was just me. . . a newly born mother. . . and her. . . a newly born baby. . . and we were breastfeeding. . .and we were at the beginning of a beautiful journey that I never could have imagined. And I was born. . .

Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Sylko @ Chaotic Mama-Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival Day 6

Shelly @ Lousy Mom-Prep for birth. Prep for breastfeeding.

Ashley @ Adventures with my Monkeys-Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival Day 6: Birth Experience

Timbra @ Bosoms and Babes-Birth of Me: Halfway Around the World

Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl-Setting Myself Up For Success

Natasha @ Natural Urban Mama-Birth Experience. Maybe. Cheering Squad. Definitely!

And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s blog today is Marilee Poulson-Prepare for Natural Birth, Prepare to Breastfeed

In the Public Eye

2011-07-16T00:30:00.000-07:00

I was not so bold with my first daughter. Seriously, at 15 months old, I thought people would think I was crazy for still nursing her, I was the person who would try to let her nurse quickly while using a bathroom stall at an event. I actually, probably got MORE bold when she was 18 months old, about nursing in public, than the six months after her first birthday, and this was completely because of the supporty system that began to develop around me. Support is key. . . seeing OTHER mothers around us, nursing their babies without a hiccup or a second thought, is NECESSARY. . .sometimes to show little people who are watching and will grow up to be parents someday, sometimes just to show peers and give peers the confidence to nurse and be reminded it's NORMAL.

Now, I have a second daughter, nearing the 2 year mark, and I feel like she is still such a baby. I can't believe that 15 months felt "big" with my first daughter. I had not yet embraced that I would be an "extended nurser" nor did I live my life with the understanding that TWO is really a minimum recommendation for breastfeeding. After 2 years of nursing my first daughter, I began to find my stride and began to embrace my parenting, my views on sleeping arrangements and nursing as well.

Do I think nursing in public is necessary? YES! People are watching and learning and understanding, no matter what age they are. For my friends who still haven't found their footing, I want them to find confidence in being with other nursing moms. For my daughters, and for the children of others, I want them to SEE breastfeeding, hear it spoken of, to understand the risks associated with not breastfeeding, so that breastfeeding, as an art, is not lost, because it is being seen and it is being woven into our every day lives!

When a child has either 1) not been breastfed, 2) not been encouraged to explore the idea of breastfeeding even in a family where children are breastfed or 3) not experienced/seen younger siblings or other people close to them, nursing, I want to be sure that they see other mothers around them nursing their children, and how natural and normally it fits into the flow of life. That there isn't "stuttering" around it, it's just something that happens while everything else is happening around us too.

Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Dionna @ Code Name Mama-Twiddle Me That

Judy @ Mommy News & Views Blog-Breastfeeding in Public

Natasha @ Natural Urban Mama-NIP by NUM

Timbra @ Bosoms and Babes-In Public Eye

Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl-How It Should Be

Xela @ Happy Hippie Homemaker-Why I feel the need to nurse in public

Shelly @ Lousy Mom-Breastfeeding Welcome Here

Renee @ Just the 5 of us!-Take it All Off

Sylko @ Chaotic Mama-Breastfeeding Carnival Day 5

Ana @ Motherhood: Deconstructed-Breastfeeding in Public is Good for Society

Sara @ the Momzelle blog-Shy Girl Nursing in Public

Ashley @ Adventures with my Monkeys-Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival Day 5: Nursing in Public

And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s blog today is Melissa LaVange-Breastfeeding is Not Taboo

Maybe means?

2011-07-15T23:18:00.002-07:00

There are so many directions to go with this, and I'd love to just site Dianne Wiessinger's Watch Your Language, but won't follow down that path.

Language can influence so many things in life. I appreciate what a friend once said to another friend, when he'd offended him and then hadn't seen him for a while. When they discussed what the problem had been, the one man said that the words of the other had bothered him, and the first man replied with "Well, I can't know everyone's dictionary dude!"

Sometimes you just have to give it your best effort, to say what needs to be said in an appropriate manner, and realize that part of the responsibility lies with the hearer. If you are on the one side of breastfeeding information, the support side, there is a tendency to over-analyze how every single word will be interpreted and read into. As soon as you have analyzed all the angles and all the ways that what is being said can be internalized as, here comes a third party to hear it all in a completely OTHER way.

Sometimes I'm just a mom, and I realize that people just SAY STUFF, without thinking, that they're just doing their best to support and give information and talking from what they know. Sometimes, the "lay" mom, is just hearing "lay mom" jargon. She's not internalizing and analyzing the way EVERY word was put together, when it comes to ANYTHING, even breastfeeding. She's looking for support and information. Maybe she's looking for wording that will make her feel justified in making a decision that she thinks others will look down on. Maybe she's looking for wording or information to support a decision she wants to follow through on but doesn't feel she has the support for elsewhere. Maybe she's just looking to hear others talk about breastfeeding being normal, so she can feel in good company. Maybe she's listening for all the horror stories of other nursing moms, because she feels alone. Or maybe, or it could be, perhaps she's. . .You could say ONE sentence and fifteen different people would hear it differently.

We do our best, to share the information and understanding we have, with the words that seem right for the situation. The hearer also must take responsibility for what she hears, and why she hears what she hears. My husband, he never tells me "maybe." Why? Because to me, "maybe" means "yes." To my five year old "maybe" sounds like "no" (because it means, not right now), and to my husband, "maybe" just sounds like "maybe." We hear what we want to hear, we take what we WANT to take, so when we are the speaker, we just do our best to say what needs to be said.

Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl-Breast is Not Best, It’s Normal

Sylko @ Chaotic Mama-Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival: Day 4

Renee @ Just the 5 of us!-Breast is Not Best, It’s Par

Ashley @ Adventures with my Monkeys-Breastfeeding Carnival Day 4: Language and Breastfeeding

Ana @ Motherhood: Deconstructed-How Language (and Feminism) Creates an Aversion to Breastfeeding

Timbra @ Bosoms and Babes-Maybe Means

Laura @ Day by Day in Our World-Is Our Language Affecting the Image of Breastfeeding?

And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s blog today is Sarah Woodall Stoddard-Talking About Breastfeeding

Nursing Photos

2011-07-15T23:06:00.000-07:00

5 days1 month and that's all I have until she's nearly 2 MILK FACE
23 months3rd birthdayThe day her sister would be born, nursed a nap, I went into hard labor. . . woke up, we headed to the birth suite. . .3 years, 2 months 18 days 4 days. . . after 20 hours of not being able to nurse my baby due to a medical prodecure11 monthsalmost 17 months

Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl-Wordless Wednesday: Breastfeeding Video

Renee @ Just the 5 of us!-Wordless Wednesday

Ashley @ Adventures with my Monkeys-Breastfeeding Carnival Day 3: Wordless Wednesday Breastfeeding Style

Judy @ Mommy News & Views Blog-Innocent Beauty

Amy @ Anktangle-Then and Now

Ana @ Motherhood: Deconstructed-Wordless Wednesday-Breastfeeding

Lauren @ Hobo Mama-Breastfeeding a Newborn

Natasha @ Natural Urban Mom-Wordless Wednesday-My Favourite Breastfeeding Moment Ever!

Timbra @ Bosoms and Babes-Nursing Photos

Shelly @ Lousy Mom-Wordless Wednesday: Breastfeeding Photos

Laura @ Day by Day in Our World-Wordless Wednesday: Breastfeeding Photos

And of course today on the Breastfeeding Cafe blog we have a beautiful breastfeeding painting that will be sold as part of our silent auction this year!-Wordless Wednesday: Breastfeeding Painting!

Green Milk

2011-07-15T23:05:00.000-07:00

I grew up during a recycle, reduce, reuse campaign. . . it's always been there. I've always been aware of it. I haven't always understood why it's important. I would say that I was already a mother before I really understood how petroleum use is part of the problem when it comes to the creation of NEW materials, and why it is important to reuse what you can. I mean, sure, we reused plastic tubs and got money for aluminum cans, but I didn't understand the WHY for a very long time.

I can honestly say, environment was NOT one of the factors for me when breastfeeding my baby. I understand now, how much I have saved in money, in time, in effort and even in the use of resources, by breastfeeding my babies. I understand now that resources, like petroleum, are used to create cans of formula, and I've not contributed a dime to that production. I am not responsible for the crude oil made into gas that is used by trucks to transport this product to store. Or in need of a plastic bag at the grocery store to transport said item from the store to my home (again, or with the gas to get to and from the store). Nor have I tossed a single empty can into landfills. And maybe this is just a springboard for the other decisions about food I help make for my family. I've never fed either of my children from a rice cereal box, or purchased a jar of baby food. Because most of my children's nutritional needs were met at the breast for at least the first year, and the other foods they ate were generally whole foods I made into puree or froze as baby food, and because this again, has been a springboard of a focus on whole foods in our family, I believe it's likely we create less waste, less packaged foods.

I'm glad that I've made a decision to breastfeed, because it DOES impact the environment in a positive way, and it is a chain reaction, the decision to breastfeed has impacted the way our family eats and makes decisions about food, therefore reducing our waste and our use of resources for the production of certain types of food (including transportation). We continue to grow and change as a family, and one area that is a constant focus is making our diets "cleaner." What cleaner, greener, was is there to start your life out, than to be a breastfed baby?

Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Sara @ the Momzelle blog-The environment and I, am I a future green mom?

Ashley @ Adventures with my Monkeys-Breastfeeding Carnival Day 2: Eco-breastfeeding

Shelly @ Lousy Mom-Breastfeeding and the Hippie (or Not) Mama

Renee @ Just the 5 of us!-Granola Anyone?

Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl-I Breastfeed For My Kids

Timbra @ Bosoms and Babes-Green Milk

Natasha @ Natural Urban Mama-Word of the Day: Eco-breastfeeding

Laura @ Day by Day in Our World-Eco-breastfeeding

And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s blog today is Jeana Jones-Save the Planet: Breastfeed!

Quiet Influence

2011-07-15T22:50:00.000-07:00

I don't think in my whole life I ever wondered if I would nurse my children. I wasn't SUPER exposed to breastfeeding, not that way I assume my own children will view their experience when they become adults (or maybe even as older children and teens), but it was sort of just a given. I was 4 when my sister came along. I don't remember a lot about whether there were bottles or nursing going on. I don't remember any pumping when my mom went back to work, nor do I remember cans of formula sitting around. I know from conversations with my mom, that she nursed me about 6 months and that she nursed my sister exclusively for about 3 months before going back to work, and then in the evenings for some time after that.

When I think of my first discussion about breastfeeding with my mom, I think about my cousin being born when I was 11. My aunt had gone back to aerobics and was working out a lot and my mom talked with me after a phone conversation about how my aunt reported her milk being "sour" since she'd been working out so much. I do NOT know if she stopped working out or stopped nursing :)

After I was married, but before I had children, I remember a friend of mine had her second little girl, and my mom shared with me one day about how this friend had a breast infection. I remember saying that I'd never be so committed to breastfeeding that I'd be willing to go through infections for it! A few years later, this same friend had a third child and one day she and I, along with a third woman, were in a discussion about bed sharing. She explained that often times their middle child still slept with them, I was completely horrified. How could someone get pregnant AGAIN while a toddler was sharing their bed?! Now I know.

When I became pregnant with my first daughter, I'd read things here and there. I was committed to breastfeeding for six months ONLY. I would never nurse her to sleep, because I didn't want her to associate eating with sleeping or vice versa. I would move her into her own room at six months old, we would not share our bed with her. That lasted about 12 seconds! I'd picked up a copy of the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding just before moving out of the US, about a month before she was due. This was a fascinating read, but hard for me to get into. . . I did not see anything "beautiful" about breastfeeding, it was utilitarian. It was not a "relationship" or something a mother "enjoyed" it was just the way you were SUPPOSED to feed your child. . . that also lasted about 12 seconds.

A long time female friend of my husband's wrote one day, just before our daughter was due, to let him know that if I had any questions about breastfeeding or needed any support, I could email her. I never did, but it really stuck with me, that someone reached out to me, the way that I now attempt to reach out to new mothers who might not have a support system for breastfeeding, because it has become SO important to me.

When my first daughter was 8 months old, I visited a La Leche League meeting. I'd passed that magic "six months" I'd always anticipated nursing to, we were sharing our bed, and we were sharing a house with my parents. I think my mom was already becoming uncertain of my decision to continue to nurse until at year! I would come home shocked about children who were still nursing, and we would discuss the lunacy of it, until eventually I became a lunatic too :)

I've written to those ladies who talked with me about bed sharing and breastfeeding, to tell them that I wish I hadn't judged their parenting because I have become THAT parent. The response of "We knew, you weren't a mother yet, we just let you take your own journey" was so heart warming and forgiving. I want to remember that way of allowing people to take their own journey, especially as I watch my only (and younger) sister, moving into a life of marriage and child bearing in the next couple of years. I want to talk about how much breastfeeding means to me and my children, without being too worried about what decisions she will make. I want to give her a book here and there that has given me the tools and information I've needed along the way, while walking my own path. I want to be forgiving IF she is ever able to admit that she thought I was a crazy hippie and she'd never follow in my footsteps.

I am thankful for the women who quietly influenced me to embrace motherhood in a way I NEVER thought I would or intended to. I am thankful for the women who quietly said "I'm here if you have a question" or quietly endured my judgements and mouth agape :) I'm thankful for the mothers who have surrounded me through La Leche League over the past 4+ years as I made discoveries about myself, my child and my ideas of parenting. I am not so good at "the quiet" but I hope that I can quietly influence others to breastfeed and embrace motherhood by listening, offering information when asked, and most of all, allowing them to make their own discoveries as they venture into motherhood, a journey we can NEVER understand until we are THROWN into it.

Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Sylko @ Chaotic Mama-Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival: Day One

Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl-Learning Lessons From My Mom

Renee @ Just the 5 of us!-Well That's What They're For, Right?

Lindsy @ The S.L.C. Blog-Posts on the Importance of Breastfeeding: Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival

Timbra @ Bosoms and Babes-Quiet Influence

Ana @ Motherhood: Deconstructed-My Mother’s Gift

Amy @ Anktangle-Dear Mom, Thank you for breastfeeding me.

Amy @ Wildflower Ramblings-Generations of Breastfeeding Joy

Judy @ Mommy News & Views Blog-The Mothers Before me

CJ @ Imperfect Happiness-Mothers Before me

Shelly @ Lousy Mom-Breastfeeding: Mothers before me

Ashley @ Adventures with my Monkeys-Breastfeeding Carnival Day 1: Mothers Before Me

Laura @ Day by Day in Our World-Breastfeeding Influences... from Women Who Walked Before Me

Natasha @ Natural Urban Mama-Breastfeeding Mothers Before Me

And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s blog today is Laurel Miller-Jones-Taught Without Being Taught

Surgeon General's Call to Action

2011-02-03T00:10:00.001-08:00

Read entire document You may be required to create a free account to view this document. . . .Photo of Utah pair, Lisa and Sophia, on page 19 of Call to Action (you will need to type in page 29 at the top of the document). The Call to Action was published/given on January 20, 2011 from Washington DC.

Final Posters

2011-02-01T16:44:00.001-08:00

These posters were put together to be used on a local level as well as possibly on a national level. As far as I am aware, only one of my photos was used in the Call to Action published on January 20th by the Surgeon General. Many of the photos used in the Call to Action seemed to be from those Coalitions who chose the story prompt regarding medical support (and a few "work place support"). But I am thrilled and honored that one of "OUR" photos got in. Way to go Utah! You can visit www.utahbreastfeeding.org to see the posters on the site as well as the Call to Action information. Each Poster was created three separate times. The first edition reads "Utah Opens Its Doors To Breastfeeding" with information for the Utah Breastfeeding Coalition and La Leche League of Utah. The second edition reads "Our Baby Friendly Community" with the same website information, the third has the "baby friendly" tagline without websites.

WIC

2011-01-10T23:52:00.000-08:00

The WIC office was a location we had been trying to contact throughout the project, and after photographing Cara at AMD (funny, she was with me from A-Z locations. . . or A-W as it were). This WIC office was willing, and before I even got into the office (getting turned around on the "grid" of downtown several times. . .all those One Way streets are to blame I'm sure) Cara had talked with the individual mothers, asking if they were in fact breastfeeding mothers and if they'd be willing to allow me to photograph. This particular location offered a much more diverse group than I was able to have throughout the project, based mostly on the lack of diversity in our area. Here we had an Indian mother, a few Hispanic mothers, a husband and wife pair, he was Middle-Eastern, and an African mother, who was our only nursing mother in the group. Thankfully she was willing to allow me to photograph her, but only with a blanket covering, until she and I talked a bit and I was able to show her the types of photos I was taking, at which time she felt more comfortable (and she's not the only time this happened) with allowing me photographs of her nursing without a cover. There was also a class about to start when we got to the WIC office, so this shoot was very quick and I also photographed a few of the signs to show WIC's take on the importance of breastfeeding.WOW. . . what a project. A few more posts to come now that I've waited long enough for the Call to Action to be published. . . poster work and the Call itself to be posted next.

U of U Hospital

2011-01-10T23:51:00.005-08:00

Elizabeth Smith (with the UBC) helped me get into this location and navigate which areas of the hospital would be allowable and accessible for photographing. She even found us new mom and babies. . . yep babieS. . . less than 24 hour old twins, Maya and Sage to photograph, I think mom's name was Julie. What a fun opportunity. We photographed three locations, pediatrics, Obstetrics and Labor & Delivery Recovery unit. The University of Utah hospital is the only "Baby Friendly" hospital in Utah, having taken the WHO/UNICEF steps necessary to become baby friend, which is quite an accomplishment. Read more about it here It was difficult not to make the photographing of these twins into a portrait session. . .I love newness, freshness, breastfeeding and portraits that capture it all. I resisted and wasn't as happy with my result as I would have been had I just given in to my desire to portrait photograph them instead of "project" photograph.

Tin Angel

2011-01-10T23:51:00.004-08:00

Apparently the forerunners in posting the International Breastfeeding Symbol way before the Breastfeeding Cafe project in August, Tin Angel is an awesome natural and organic bistro. At some point in it's early history the owner of the Tin Angel apparently printed out and posted the International Breastfeeding Symbol, before it came in sticker form. You've got to love a supporter like that. A fellow La Leche League leader tipped me off to this, made all of the arrangements and even found me a second modeling pair. She also entertained my children for the hour or so we were photographing that day. Katherine & Gwen, Cheryl & Charlotte

Streamline

2011-01-10T23:51:00.003-08:00

It was great to see the variety of businesses contacted for the "Our Baby Friendly Community" back in August. Auto shops and breastfeeding just seem to go hand in hand, right?! Heidi and Juliet

Sage's Cafe

2011-01-10T23:51:00.002-08:00

I wish I could have stayed for dinner, but this is the day my phone died at the end of the day and Mike called to say I should stay out as late as I needed, but I still thought he needed to be somewhere at 7pm. Melissa was this year's Breastfeeding Cafe Chair, we worked closely together designing the "artwork" of photographs from myself and two other photographers, as well as the physical wall for business logos, those which were contacted to display the International Breastfeeding Symbol, and recontacted when the UBC was given this grant based on that original project. You might say she was the mastermind behind the whole "Our Baby Friendly Community" project before it became a UBC grant project! Melissa & Eleanor (and Abigail is there too)

Our Store

2011-01-10T23:51:00.001-08:00

Lindsay and her little guy, again. . . .name fail, will be updated soon. This was an interesting store to photograph, as were many of the stores. This is an "Alternative" thrift store who's proceeds go to those with AIDS, I felt the flag at the front of the store (along with the door with name) was the place in the store that told the best story about the business. In so many of the locations I felt tentative about our presence, some stores didn't have great communication among the staff with regard to the project or that I would even be showing up, that happened here, but this was one location where I felt overwhelmingly welcomed in that situation instead of confusion and standing around wondering if we'd be able to photograph.

Tutoring Toy

2011-01-10T23:51:00.000-08:00

Tutoring Toy, another fun but challenging set up. This store, humble as they are, don't have their name on the door! I actually had to request a sticker with their logo and name to put on the window for some of these photos. What a fun "mom & pop" (and son, who was the representative of the family that day) shop. Melanie & 13 month old Vivienne

Little Gym

2011-01-10T23:50:00.003-08:00

Another of my "always willing and involved" pairs, Julia & Kai. The first time I photographed these two, the little one was 10 days old. This was an unfortunate pairing for a few reasons. . . Kai actually attends Little Gym, so he knew the ropes, but wasn't actually allowed to "play" this day (OOPS!) and this is not the Little Gym location they attend, so it was a good thing I touched base with Julia (accidentally at the fair) the day before and let her know that. Some of the location/model pairings were very ironic, but the complication of working out business schedules and individuals' schedules made it so there was very little wiggle room in who could be scheduled when and where. Thankfully I had lots of "good sports" involved.

Liberty Heights Fresh

2011-01-10T23:50:00.002-08:00

Jennifer and Arabella, you'd think I'd forget that name, but since it's a name I considered for a child of my own, the first time I read it in a Harry Potter novel, it's not one that would go unnoticed by me :) And no, that's not why this little munchkin has this name, her mama wasn't even aware of it as a character name. These were my sweet and willing models for this grocery store location. You know how it's really natural to sit down in the beating midday sun at the door of a grocery store and nurse your baby? Okay, some of these locations posed some serious thinking and creativity of placement both of symbol and nursing pairs to get the FULL story/message in the photograph, grocery stores were my most challenging locations.

Les Madeleines

2011-01-10T23:50:00.001-08:00

My memory has to fail me sooner or later. . . This is Lisa & Sophia, Annie & her kiddos, but I can't remember their names so I'll have to update this when I get names back from her. They were also the feature set in my Cannella's shoot (since little guy wanted to play and discover more than nurse once we got to these locations). Incidentally, Lisa & Sophia are my only famous pair from this project, on the national level. One of the photos from this shoot was published on page 19 of the Surgeon General's Call to Action on January 20th (part of the reason I've waited to long to publish the photos of this project, waiting on the Call to Action to be published)

Laserquest

2011-01-10T23:50:00.000-08:00

My most willing model friend, Renee and a less than willing Clarissa (oh, she was willing to nurse of course, but didn't want me to see her or photograph her). Renee has been part of every one of my nursing photo projects since the beginning. Laserquest was a difficult location to find a model for, many of my models live further north, thankfully this is right down the road from Renee (actually almost right between where she and I live) and we both had a spot open on this afternoon to meet up for a quick shoot.

La Leche League

2011-01-10T23:49:00.004-08:00

Huge community support for breastfeeding mothers comes in the form of La Leche League. I was able to photograph the meeting that takes place in Sandy, as well as the Murray location and the Downtown Cafe Day (Cafe on 1st post below), for this project. La Leche League is a volunteer organization, it's free breastfeeding support and information, offers meetings held throughout the month, as well as one to one, mother to mother support for breastfeeding. Visit www.lllusa.org/ut/utah for more information

Imagination Place

2011-01-10T23:49:00.003-08:00

Imagination Place offers amazing Music Programs and classes that we have attended for three years now. At one point someone wrote a note and posted it on the memo board, requesting that mothers NOT nurse in group music classes (designed for chidlren under the age or 4.5). This was a few years ago, but in response, the International Breastfeeding Symbol was displayed. Thank you to Stephanie & Henry who stood in for the models that I'd set up for this location, unfortunately I wasn't able to be there the week that I'd intended and didn't get in touch with my "models" who were regulars in this Saturday morning class. When I showed up to photograph them the following week, assuming they'd be there, I later found out that they had a trip out of town scheduled for that week. . . of course! But it was the final weekend before the project was due, so I didn't have opportunity to come back another time for these photos. Thankfully I had a willing pair during the lullaby. Because of the true photojournalistic nature of this shoot, there are more photos of the symbol than the action, but I loved having so many cute and easy models to work with displaying what this business is about while the symbol was displayed in the background (and of course my own children made it in some of the shots too)

Great Expectations Birth Care

2011-01-10T23:49:00.002-08:00

Rebecca Williams with Great Expectations Birth Care was a midwife I visited a single time when pregnant with my first baby (only because we did not end up having her here in UT), and the midwife I knew I would return to when I had another baby (because we had relocated to UT by that time). In August when businesses were being approached to display the International Breastfeeding Symbol, I knew she would be a happy supporter. Renee & Clarissa were my models here, since Rebecca was also Renee's midwife for two of her three babies. Recently Rebecca shared with me that a mother was visiting the dentist within the complex, saw the breastfeeding symbol and asked to come in and nurse her baby there, since she felt uncomfortable about doing it in the waiting room full of older gentlemen at the dentist office. SEE. . . it works!We also had a little fun here and Renee grabbed a few photos of yours truly

Ekamai

2011-01-10T23:49:00.001-08:00

Melissa & Xavian, Jessi & Silas. . . . friends and two wonderful nursing pairs.

Earth Goods

2011-01-10T23:49:00.000-08:00

The lovely Laurel and daughter Madeleine. This was a tricky location, there wasn't a place where the logo and the International Breastfeeding Symbol could be found in the same space, but we made do with some name recognition for this little "earth friendly" store.

Carlucci's

2011-01-10T23:48:00.004-08:00

Leah, Andrew, nursling Jane and friends Kris and Toby. See, even if you aren't a nursing mom at the moment, you can still be a super supporter for a friend.

Department of Health/First Steps Daycare

2011-01-10T23:48:00.003-08:00

Why not photograph back where it all began? The two ladies I met with to sign the initial contract, work with the Department of Health. You saw one photographed at AMD, but Cara also got me a spot with the privately run daycare that is housed at the Department of Health. She also organized several of the nursing mothers who work at the Department of Health to be available for photographing at the same time.

Cannella's

2011-01-10T23:48:00.002-08:00

A quick shoot at Cannella's due to some lunch-hour scheduling problems.

Cali's

2011-01-10T23:48:00.001-08:00

The owner of Cali's, Sage's and Vertical Diner is a huge supporter for the normalization of breastfeeding. I was only able to schedule photographing two of his three locations, but the staff at Cali's was awesome and inquisitive. Brie & Claire, Heather & Chloe. . . friends and two sweet nursing pairs were my models here.

Cakewalk

2011-01-10T23:48:00.000-08:00

Katrina and Miriam. Katrina is a fellow "normalization of breastfeeding" advocate. In 2010 she undertook the photography project "At Mother's Breast" photographing nursing pairs all over the Salt Lake Valley. Of course, some of these photos could have just as easily been for a Blue Sky ad, I hope they're pro-breastfeeding.

Cafe on 1st

2011-01-10T23:47:00.003-08:00

A huge community supporter, Cafe on 1st where the monthly "Cafe Day" put on by La Leche League of Salt Lake, is held. This is an informal breastfeeding mother's group, where moms can come for support, information and just to spend quality time with like-minded mothers.

Bruge's

2011-01-10T23:47:00.002-08:00

Marie, Ken, little Than and the tastiest "frites" (aka french fries) in UT (maybe the entire country). Isn't it great when dads can come out and support such a great cause? I also had opportunity to meet one of the owners of Bruge's a week or so later. I introduced myself as having done the Utah Breastfeeding Coalition photography project. In person, he was super supportive and spoke positively about breastfeeding, even sharing that his own children had been nursed well beyond the "2 year mark"

Better Birth

2011-01-10T23:47:00.001-08:00

Jen and sweet Sky

Babinski

2011-01-10T23:47:00.000-08:00

Andrea and baby girl Trinity

Tracy Aviary

2011-01-10T23:46:00.000-08:00

Next up. . . the lovely Charity and baby boy Karl at the Tracy Aviary Looks like a third kid wanted in on the photo shoot (I can't take her anywhere)

AMD Architecture

2011-01-10T21:48:00.000-08:00

Basically, we had a list of 70+ businesses who were approached by various women involved with the Breastfeeding Cafe this year. When the Utah Breastfeeding Coalition was given this grant, based in part on the success of that community effort in August, two women, Jeena and Melissa (UBC Cafe Chairperson) were willing to help me by calling each business who did not respond to my initial email or did not have an email contact. Of those 70+ businesses, approximately 25 were willing participants in this project (some never got the message, some didn't return calls/emails, some weren't interested, some could not have me come photograph on the days I was most available, etc). That's the background on how the businesses you will now see, came to be part of this project, "Utah Opens its Doors to Breastfeeding Mothers."

AMD Architecture is run by Angela who shared that she was a breastfeeding mother twice around, as she began her architecture practice and worked from her home before opening her own office. One of the local LLL leaders had used Angela for some work (in fact she is currently using Angela for some work) and approached her to request she display the International Breastfeeding Symbol during the Breastfeeding Cafe. Cara was my willing model with little Alex (She is with the UBC).

Utah Opens its Doors to Breastfeeding Mothers

2010-10-10T13:40:00.000-07:00

So, I did a huge photography project, this is the second post about that. And I wrote about it a little along the way. Day 2 my list included a lot more restaurants. I don't know why or how it happened that way, but it did. The first day was grocery stores and businesses, the second day was restaurants.

I didn't realize just how many things could go wrong before 11am. Why? Because I have a general rule about not leaving my house UNTIL 11am, and now I know why I have that rule.

The day started out poorly before I even got to this day. A friend had set up the first appointment with me because it was at her brother's auto shop. When I called another business to confirm their slot, the lady (who had already been sort of rude and unnecessarily annoyed by those who had called her to set things up initially) was sort of rude to me and then said "That is NOT the time we agreed on" so I looked through my notes and quoted back "It says here between 9 and 3 ( I had them at like 1). . . "Well, I'm looking at the schedule now and you'll have to come before 12."

Coming before 12 meant I had to rearrange the beautiful schedule I'd put together and I told her so "I spent 3 hours on this schedule so pardon me if I take a minute to mentally rearrange it" (hello. . we are giving YOU free advertising, please stop being a jerk!) So I tweaked it, which meant calling my friend and asking her if we can move our meet up time by about 15 minutes. She was fine with that. . .and then completely forgot to show. In the meantime (while I'm waiting for her to show up or call me back) another friend calls to find out about her appointment time and ask about the location I've chosen. I chose a lunch spot. They told us we needed to come before 11 or after 3 (the lunch rush). . . but I forgot to call them until after hours the night prior to going, I had someone scheduled at 10:30 (before 11) but ugh. . .they don't have an answering machine and no one answers phones UNTIL 11!! So I told her that someone had cancelled for me for the evening and shifted her to that spot. Oh. .yeah, I woke up to an email from someone saying they couldn't make it, sick child!

So, sick child, business that makes me rearrange entire schedule, friend who doesn't show to the appointment she set up, business that doesn't take calls UNTIL business hours but told me to come before they open. . . it's 9:30. Finally get a call from my friend who has totally spaced and is on her way over, worked out fine, since the other friend took the evening slot that had been bailed out of and now I have no one for that first slot. Oh well. Finish up at the auto shop, make my way to the place that said I had to rearrange my entire schedule for them. Get to the coordinates (aka address for those not in UT) and it's a hotel, not a birthing suite. Call. . . find out that the birthing suite address is in OREM (that's like an hour away) and again, rude, the lady says "I told the lady on the phone that." Well. . . I looked up the address and didn't look at the city, just the coordinates, and maybe she told me, but I wasn't listening, and this would explain why they got two different calls but no one knew they were the very same business. Ironically, the woman I've scheduled to meet me at this location lives the closest of ALL my models, to the location. I call her. . .

She says she's at the birthing suite and I tell her there's no way I could make it to Orem and back in the amount of time before my next appointment. . . no. . .she's at the birthing suite location in Salt Lake (they have two sites, two separate names, two totally different addresses, but the address I gave her was for the Salt Lake site. . .THANK GOODNESS) it's 10am! We decide to just meet at the next location because. . . as luck would have it. . . the next location is next door to the other location that wanted me to come before 11, but doesn't answer phones UNTIL 11 and I have no model for that location.

So, we meet at my 10:30 location, Les Madeleines, with the woman who has an appointment with me there, I wait for my "birthing suite" mom to show, then hop over to the Italian place to see if it's okay for me to grab a few shots RIGHT AT 11. . . yes. Everything has fallen back into place. . . hoorah! Then my "birth suite" mom tells me, "When I came out of the birth suite office I saw a little french bakery on the corner and thought to myself, maybe she could meet me here instead". . . so it works out PERFECTLY that I'd requested she meet me at a french bakery because of all my mess ups :)

All is right with the world. I shoot throughout the day, I get to a few locations early, Airi takes 2 naps of about 45 minutes each (the first day she took none), and the only other glitch is that I had three restaurants in the same shopping center with five moms involved and I stayed a little long there, so I was very late for my last appointment, which really didn't matter because her husband was busy until very late and she actually had just decided to eat dinner at the location we'd chosen. Well, the other glitch was that my phone died. She offered to buy me dinner, but I declined because I knew Mike had somewhere to be at 7pm, and I was running very close to the line, apparently, however, about this same exact time, Mike called to tell me I should just relax and stay out as long as I needed because he had decided to stay in that evening instead of go to small group. . . but I didn't get the message, so I didn't get the free and wonderful dinner at the Vegan restaurant Sage's. . . boo! But I did get to come home and spend more time with my hubby and little girl than I thought I'd have that evening.

Throughout the next week and a half I somehow found models for all of my locations, even if I did have to ask Renee to be my model at two separate locations because NO ONE wanted to go to laserquest and very few of my models live in that area. I also realized the night before the project was due, that I somehow completely missed one business. I think because they were available over too broad of a time slot and both of my main shooting days I vowed to schedule them last since they'd fit almost anywhere, and then ended up NEVER giving them a slot :(

On Thursday I was able to head up to the University Hospital to photograph. The U of U hospital is our own "Baby Friendly" hospital in Utah, which means they have been given this designation by following a strict set of guidelines put out by WHO/UNICEF with regards to 10 steps to breastfeeding success. They assume all mothers who birth in their hospital will be breastfeeding their babies, they offer support and try to initiate breastfeeding within the first 30 minutes after birth, all babies are assumed to be rooming in, in fact there is no longer a "healthy baby" nursery available, they do not get discounts on formula (aka kick backs), pacifiers and bottles are actually locked up now and must be specifically requested by a mother. It's actually quite cool. So I photographed the hospital as part of this project, which included newborn nursing twins. . .sage and Maya . . . . beautiful!!! Then I ran over to my midwife's office to photograph her office. I had another shoot friday and the following week I had two or three more separate shoots.

Then I had about 1800 photos for the project, of which I turned over more than 1200, all of which were at least slightly color edited, for "pop." And everything, including a small forest worth of release forms and two sets of 5 CDs, made it's way to Patrice at the Department of Health by 4:30pm on Monday afternoon, September 27th.

It is amazing to me that I apparently had a real life during all of this, as I tried to sit down and write out all the stuff I did that was NOT for this photography project, during these two weeks and though I could contain it all in one post, only to find that I did almost as much as I usually do with my family. I feel that I must have been on auto pilot because my focus was so much on this project I was not even aware of how normally I carried on with life.

I am so fortunate to have been part of this project. I still have a little work left to do, that of creating some posters for the local level of the project, but we have drawn that out to be due in December sometime (though before I know it, it will be December and I will have done nothing and be kicking myself). I feel honored to have been asked to photograph this project and to have been able to take my littlest daughter along with me for the ride, and sometimes even my older daughter. I met some amazing people along the way, had so many fabulous models to work with and feel very excited and positive about the community's support of nursing moms. I've even had opportunity, after the project, to meet some of the business owners who were not there on days when I was photographing and feel even more positive about this effort.

Another local LLL leader has intentions to send in an article about this project as well as the success of the Breastfeeding Cafe back in August, to a La Leche League publication, New Beginnings. She hopes to highlight me as the photographer on this project, since I would not get recognition otherwise. I am hopeful about asking her to consider writing the article and to approach the local newspaper as well as Mothering Magazine (where my photograph was recently published in an advertisement for World Breastfeeding Week on the pamphlet front). It is very exciting to be part of something so awesome, as well as get some special recognition for this project. I'll keep you. . . blog posted.

I will soon be posting each of the businesses and the willing models for each business, on this blog. . . stay tuned.

Utah Breastfeeding Coalition Photojournalism Project

2010-10-10T13:39:00.001-07:00

I'm just reposting this in order of when it was written. . .
"The Surgeon General will be releasing a Call to Action on Breastfeeding this fall. To coordinate with this, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is developing a photo library of breastfeeding support in action. Based on the success of our Breastfeeding Cafe and Baby Friendly Community initiative this summer, the Utah Breastfeeding Coalition (UBC)was one of 8 state coalitions to receive funding from the US Breastfeeding Committee (USBC) to provide photos of community breastfeeding support. The UBC has contracted with a professional photographer to obtain the images. In keeping with our agreement with USBC, the UBC is required to obtain written consent for each facility participating in the photo project. This project has short turnaround time, and must be completed during September 2010. "

And I'M that photographer!!!

I was approached a few weeks ago by the Utah Breastfeeding Coalition. They had applied for a grant to hire a photographer for a project. The Surgeon General is issuing a call to action, the CDC is involved, and the US Breastfeeding Committee wanted to give 8 coalitions across the US, a grant to hire a photographer to photojournalistically capture the story of breastfeeding support in action. I wasn't the only photographer approached, but I think I was the only one willing to put together the things necessary, the main of which was to have liability insurance. It really wasn't a big deal at all. . . I'm not sure why someone else didn't jump at the opportunity.

The pay is good, the hours are by choice (but have to be within a certain range), the project is fantastic, the women I'm working with are TOP notch!!! So, I called my insurance agent and we got squared away (she's been after me for a couple of years to get a policy for my business anyway, since my camera isn't really covered under my regular renter's policy if I'm using it for business purposes). As luck would have it, my parents asked Mike to run an errand to the very same city where our insurance office is, on the very same day I needed to sign paperwork, so neither of us had to work very hard to get the other to come along.

That was Friday the 3rd, then began five days of contract working, we signed that on the 8th. There are a list of deadlines along the way and the deadline for the contract was the 8th. Now I'm working on gathering willing models, the story is "Utah Opens its Doors to Breastfeeding Mothers" and goes along with the recent Breastfeeding Cafe theme of "Our Baby Friendly Community." If you remember that this year we approached a lot of local businesses and requested they display the international breastfeeding symbol in exchange for their logo being posted at the cafe?! These are the businesses we are mainly approaching to request they allow us to photograph their storefront with the breastfeeding symbol displayed and nursing moms in the photographs as well. Some will say yes, some will say no, some are small businesses, cafes, etc, others are grocery stores, government offices, clinics. It's a wide variety.

By the time this is posted, the project will be at least photographed, and likely be to the US Breastfeeding Committee because that's about all I'll be working on for the 12 days after I photograph it all, but I wanted to write out where I'm at in this moment in the project. I have 20 or more models, and around the same number of businesses, I've got to coordinate everyone's available time with the business owners' available times or best time for shooting. We have to be sure that releases are signed for the property, so we have to line up times to be at the location when the person responsible for signing will also be there. Models all have to sign releases too. Today Renee and I went to one of these businesses, and she was unwilling, so there will be some "no's" I suppose, but right now I think I have PLENTY of locations to consider.

My brain is forming ideas on how I'd like to shoot, angles, how to get in a storefront, a tiny symbol and nursing moms. Reminding myself to get just the storefronts with the symbols. I know it will come together. Today it feels very. . . flying all over the place. . .but by Sunday I will have a plan of action in place where I've matched up my models to locations and given out the assignments. I plan to do most of the shooting on Tuesday and Wednesday of next week, a few stragglers on other days just based on locations.

So, Monday I'll be getting directions to each of my locations and touching base with moms and business owners and mapping everything out. Let me say. . .I'll be glad when two days of crazy running around, thinking hard about how to shoot things, figuring out lighting, hoping I don't screw things up because I can't redo it, no naps for airi, and general chaos are over with. . .then i have 12 days to edit and have the images to the UBC. . . .

UPDATE: It's Tuesday September 15th, I've just completed my first full day of shooting, tomorrow is another, a little longer day of shooting, I have a few appointments on Thursday, Friday, one on Saturday and a final spot next Thursday. Today was not quite as insane and tiring as I thought it could be. Airi is coming along for all of the shooting, and she did really really well today, with very little sleep, but being worn at some sites and in the stroller at others. I wanted to post this because I'm MIA and I'm so far behind on my blog and I just wanted friends and family to know what I've been up to!

Today I photographed a La Leche League meeting
Little Gym
Tutoring Toy
Baby Babinski (swanky baby store)
AMD Architecture
Earth Goods Natural Store
WIC Clinic
And a Daycare at the Dept of Health

More fun tomorrow. . .but for now, an "early night" and a good night's rest.

And I'll fill in the month in between very very soon.

Jasmine & Thomas (& Astrid)

2010-10-10T10:36:00.008-07:00

Alisha brought along Jasmine, who had 10 week old Thomas and big sister 2.5 year old Astrid with her. The weather was turning on us for the second time this week, but we got some FABULOUS photos, maybe some of my favorite of the entire project. Sweet, soft little baby!!! Plus they were just so easy to photograph and unlike many distracted older babies, it didn't take anything to get this little guy to nurse the entire session. I was so happy with the result and we literally packed everything up and RAN to the cars as thunder began and rain started coming down.This was a special necklace that Jasmine requested I get in the photo and I just love this shot

Alisha & Evelyn

2010-10-10T10:36:00.007-07:00

Along with Katrina and Myself, Alisha was the third photographer who has her work (nursing portraits) displayed at the Breastfeeding Cafe this year. I'd heard her name for the past year or so, but we only met about five weeks prior to the start of the Cafe this year. We came together with a few others to look at the Cafe space and work on some design ideas a couple of weeks later, and then I met her again when she attended my class at the Cafe. She was on the fence when it came to participating in the WBW fundraiser, but in the end, was there! And I'm so happy. . .look at this sweet pair, and especially this adorable 5 month old Evelyn! Can you even stand her? Preciousness not to be missed. It's always fun to photograph a fellow photographer and tell them to stop bossing you around :) But as a photographer we know how we want photos to be composed and to look, so sometimes it's hard to just give over control and eagerly anticipate seeing the results! I hope she was pleased with them.Alisha is a studio photographer mostly, and shoots for a lot of women's issues. She is amazing! She also allowed me (two weeks after this shoot) use of her studio for a little while to do some 1 year photos of Airi on her birthday. What a super lady she is!

Laurel & Madeleine

2010-10-10T10:36:00.005-07:00

I really don't remember when I first met Laurel and MJ. I want to say Maddi was about 5 months old. And honestly, I had no idea the first time Laurel showed up at a LLL meeting that we'd eventually become good friends and know one another so well. Now Laurel is a LLL leader herself. She comes regularly to the meetings where I am a leader, though she leads with a different local group. She is an amazing friend who takes care of people, bringing me manacotti after my youngest was born! We've enjoyed cookies parties and birthday parties together and I've been given the privelege of photographing her family as well. I don't really want to talk about how BIG Madeleine suddenly seems at 2.5 year old, though of course, she is a petite little sprite, but maturing, and so apparent in these first photos

Julie & Zoey

2010-10-10T10:36:00.003-07:00

Julie was another mom who came to my class at the Breastfeeding Cafe. She really liked the look of my newborn photos and at this point Zoey was only taking a bottle, though Julie was trying to get her back to nursing. With the help of some La Leche League leaders and some great support, I found out from Julie about 3 weeks later, that at TWELVE weeks Zoey was FINALLY nursing! (She'd been pumping the whole time). What a GREAT story! But for these photos, we just did some cute ones of sweet Zoey with her ducky fluff hair, chubby cheeks and squishy little face. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!

Heidi & Jules (& Gretta)

2010-10-10T10:36:00.001-07:00

I just had opportunity to photograph these sweet ladies (and the dad too) in May, but Heidi was after something with a little bit of a different look then what I'd captured. Since life was VERY busy during this time (for both of us) we decided to just do the "redo" during the WBW fundraiser. (She even decided to contribute to the fundraiser). It's difficult not to want to take lots of photos of this cute little crew of girls. Heidi's oldest has a birthday around the same time as my youngest and her younger's birthday is around the same time as my oldest. . . June and August babes! Heidi is another local leader and tons of spunky fun!

Charity & Karl

2010-10-10T10:35:00.000-07:00

Charity and I met one another at the very same workshop where I was announced officially as a leader with La Leche League. She'd recently come from California, so I was immediately interested in talking with her about her experience there as a La Leche League leader. We met again at a communications workshop early in our pregnancies when our bellies were just starting to pop (about 3 months), and a few times in between then and our babies coming (only 2 weeks apart). I was priveleged to photograph her growing belly and family, and then again to photograph the entire family back in March, including nursing photos here. Then, just two days before Karl's 1st Birthday, Charity was part of the fundraiser. Look at this very happy little (too close to) 1 year old. Overly tired and unwilling to yeild, it was a challenge to get many nursing photos this day and DEFINITELY not while mom was sitting!!

Julia & Kai Take II

2010-09-01T18:24:00.000-07:00

Remember this little guy just 10 days old back at the start of my endeavor to capture breastfeeding images? Well this is him now (taken about a month after this WBW project, at another event at Renee's house) I met Julia at a La Leche League meeting and I'll say it again, she was "out to here" pregnant with this little guy. Now, almost two years later, we're still friends (or at least we accidentally run into one another at stores all over the Valley, because apparently both of our families require food, and we run in the same circle). Look at Kai, not quite a baby, not quite a boy. . . almost 2 now!!!

Ginger & True

2010-09-01T18:23:00.009-07:00

Ginger and I have known one another since the very first La Leche League meeting either of us ever attended. Her big boy, Cache, was 5 weeks old, and my BIG girl, Alani was 8 months at the time. We've had their family over for dinner, done playdates together, and Ginger was also first to introduce us to Music Together in December of 2007. That REALLY stuck! We've been going ever since, and she and her two babies go for sessions here and there. We were even in a session together during the time of this shoot. Due only 9 days apart and having our baby girls 4 WEEKS apart, we are now traveling through motherhood a second time around, at a relative close pace. True has the sweetest little face and I was so excited to get to snap a few of these two together.

Michelle & Athena

2010-09-01T18:23:00.007-07:00

I met Michelle while leading a class on "Photographing Children and Newborns" at the Breastfeeding Cafe on Wednesday morning. I encouraged moms to take LOTS of photos of their babies, and of course, any time a photography has opportunity to mention their business or work, they do, so the moms there knew that I was the artist behind four of the 10 large photos being displayed at the Cafe, and that I was holding a fundraiser over the next three days. Michelle emailed me that night to let me know she'd be coming to our Thursday gathering. Athena is a sweety with deep brown eyes, and Michelle has done some photography work for the YWCA so she's somewhat familiar with photography. What fun to get to capture this mama/daughter pair! I should have written all of this when it was fresh but I want to say that Athena is a little older than Airi in these photos, maybe 14 months?

Lindsay & Emily

2010-09-01T18:23:00.005-07:00

Lindsay is Sally's sister in law. What a great sis-in-law to drag her along for a fun day of hanging out with crazy ladies and having some photos taken. Emily's eyes are amazingly bright and blue. I think Emily is the youngest of an all boy family and at 7 months, quiet and sweet! What a wonderful pair these two are!

Sally & Andrew

2010-09-01T18:23:00.003-07:00

This is Andrew's Pirate Face :)Sally is another local LLL leader, whom I'd only met in an online forum a couple of years ago. I guess she got wind of our fundraiser. It was so good to meet her in person, she's spunky and very fun. I think Andrew is her third little guy and is just over 2 years old. The group that she leads with must be tons of fun!
His two favorite things. . . nursing/time with mama. . .and playing ball!

Heather & Chloe

2010-09-01T18:23:00.001-07:00

Heather happened to be at the La Leche League meeting in August where I was talking up the fundraiser (the day before it was to begin) as well as the Breastfeeding Cafe in downtown Salt Lake. She showed some interest in coming for the Wednesday evening portion of the fundraiser, but ended up not being able to make it. She then made a second attempt at our Thursday shoot and I'm so thrilled she did. What a beautiful little one 5 month old Chloe is and always dressed to the nines (with accessories and painted fingers to match).

Megan & Brayden

2010-09-01T18:22:00.002-07:00

I think Brayden is 16 months old in these photos. Megan heard about our fundraiser and emailed me to say she'd be there. We tried some very "little boy" photos and then did a second round later when he was a little more willing to nurse that were more "studio." This is a look easily provided for with the amazing window light of my friend Renee.

Leah & Jane (and Andrew too)

2010-09-01T18:22:00.001-07:00

I guess Leah and her kiddos have been in Music Together with my kiddos and I for the past two or three sessions now, maybe since January. Our friendship has built slowly over time, actually sort of through a third party mom in our class who Leah was already friends with. Through conversations I found out that she knew people I know because she regularly attends another local La Leche League meeting. When I decided to do the fundraiser, I passed the information on to her, since I knew she was still nursing 16 month old Jane, attended LLL meetings and seemed to be a breastfeeding supporter. What fun to photograph these two, plus this afternoon we did the photos at my GOOD friend (and fellow La Leche League leader)'s house. It was so much fun to have a gathering of like-minded mamas there to support a good cause, nurse our babies together and watch our kiddos play and have a good time.Sweet Big Boy hugs while sister nursesAnd OH those eyes Jane!!!

Melissa & Xavian

2010-09-01T09:40:00.000-07:00

My second Murray pair for our World Breastfeeding Week Fundraiser Melissa and 8 month old Xavian. I don't even know how Melissa found out about our photo shoots, but I'm so glad she did, she is fabulous! And we ended up seeing one another several times over the next couple of weeks down at the Breastfeeding Cafe. And this baby boy?! Seriously, look at this sweet baby with his perfect peak little lips

Tiffany & Christian

2010-08-23T01:03:00.000-07:00

Here commences 17 photo shoots (15 of which will be displayed on this blog) of mothers and babies doing what they do best, nursing! World Breastfeeding Week inspired me this year to do some fundraising for the La Leche League group that I am a leader for. I wanted to put my talents to good use, give moms a gift and raise a little money for our group all in one, so I chose to offer "mini nursing portrait sessions" for a minimum donation, three nights in a row, the week of World Breastfeeding Week. The first shoot was in Murray Park. . .3 moms (2 of whom gave me permission to post their photographs). And the first pair, Tiffany & Christian. I met Tiffany while she was still pregnant and visited one of our LLL meetings, I think she's hooked now. Christian is 5 months in these photos.

Katrina, Asher & Miriam

2010-08-23T00:43:00.001-07:00

A new kind of story. . . a friend (from LLL) posted that a lady in town wanted to do free nursing portraits for people to start a project called "At Mother's Breast." Of course I was totally up for it. . .FREE pictures, and NURSING portraits OF my daughter(s) and I. . . I was totally in! She did an amazing job of portraits of the girls and I, and she was about 6 months pregnant at the time. So, when Miss Miriam came along, I told Katrina that she just HAS to be part of her own project and I'd love to do the portraits if she'd have me. What a beautiful trio these three make (and two nursing pairs as well). And Katrina is my hero, she had this little girl BREACH in a homebirth! From her account, I'm pretty sure this "wrong way" baby was easier to birth, than my own two "right way" babies. I am surrounded by amazing women!

Ho Hum EXTRA-Ordinary

2010-07-27T01:26:00.000-07:00

If you could tell your little one just one extraordinary or ordinary thing about what it means for you to nurse, what would you share?

ONE THING? You want me to share just ONE THING? Here, how about some "short" letters to my girls.

Oh my sweet daughters, I write you letters all the time. I do not know that you will ever understand all the sweetness that I hold in my arms each night as you drift off to sleep. One in my right arm, the other in my left. One of your nursing, the other cuddling me.

Alani, you are my first daughter. You taught me how to be a mother. . . you taught me that who I was, is not who I would always be. I nursed you, because I always knew that I would. What I did not know is that through nursing you, through holding you tightly, close to me for SO many hours of each day, that I would fall so in love, with you, with ALL OF IT. With watching your tiny body grow into a big chunky baby, knowing that your life was sustained by what my body gave you. Knowing that my body was doing exactly what it was meant to do as a mother. And you grew, fat and beautiful, like a little dollop of frosting! You needed me, and you continue to need me in different ways. And because we shared this special bond, this special part of our relationship, I have learned who you are. Like me in many ways, but SO different too. You want me to hold you close, but at the same time let you go. . .and we will learn how to dance that dance a little differently each day!

Airi, you are my second daughter. You taught me that with more children comes exponentially more love. You have taught me that I can make it through tough times, that sometimes I need a break more than I know. . .but you know. . . and you remind me when it is time to just sit, quietly, and do nothing, but nurse you, and hold you, and stop worrying about all that pesky clutter! You've taught me that there are more important things, like holding a sleeping baby. You too have grown beautifully on only your mama's milk, for more months than your sister even. I love your rubberband wrists and your baby cankles, two chins ARE better than one! At almost a year old, I still find you quite a mystery, because you are SO very different from your sister. But together we are figuring one another out, and I know that our relationship will be a beautiful lifetime of learning from one another.

Thank you my daughters for giving me the gift of being your mommy and making my job sort of easy by loving to just nurse and nurse and nurse and eat and eat and eat and pretty much be happy as long as you are next to my exposed chest :) You are making my life EXTRAordinary every day, by sharing with me in this breastfeeding journey that is just such a ho-hum ordinary part of our every day lives! A non-decision in it's simplest form.

Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Amy @ Anktangle—just ONE thing

Sylko @ Chaotic Mama—Breastfeeding Carnival: The World

Timbra @ Bosoms & Babes—Ho Hum EXTRAordinary

Shelly @ Lousy Mom—What does breastfeeding mean?

Renee @ Just the 5 of us!—Amazing

Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl—The Best Start Possible

Lisa R.D @ Harper Hoorahs—It's More Than Just the Milk

Sarah @ Most Revealing—One thing

Natasha @ naturalurbanmama—Breastfeeding Thoughts: A Letter to my Kids

And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s Blog today is Marilee Poulson—The Normal Course of Breastfeeding

Every-WEAR we go. . .

2010-07-23T20:24:00.001-07:00

July 06. . . 4 weeks old. . .Fiji Oct 06. . . first Trip to the US. . . 4 monthsJune 07 (My sister carrying my daughter, day after her first birthday). . . Gardner Village July 07. . . Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Book Release PartyMarch 08 FINALLY got my mei tai. . .21 months Tried it out in OK
July 08. . . 25 months. . . Steve Miller Band Concert (awesome to be wearing her especially after dark) November 08. . . .UH YEAH. . .NKOTB concert November 08 Seattle. . . Just shy of 2.5 years. . . totally asleep
There was pregnant baby wearing in between
September 09 . . . . 4 weeks old. . .my view of a nursing babe in a mei tai at the Zoo same trip. . . Who says the Moby has a suggested weight limit? October 09. . . 3 years 3 months and 34lbs Special Ladybug Mei Tai made by my friend Heather . . . custom for my halloween costume January 10. . . .Water "moby" January 10. . . Two Girls. . . two mei tais. . . 50lbs of pure L-O-V-E (3.5 years and 5months) And the babywearing rubs off. . .

Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Amy @ Anktangle—wordless wednesday: babywearing in the first week

Timbra @ Bosoms & Babes—Every-WEAR we go

Yuliya @ She Suggests—Babywearing Fashion Show

Kaitlin Rose @ Bring Birth Home—Babywearing Photo Virtual Fashion Show

Melodie @ Breastfeeding Moms
Unite!—Sentimental Baby Carrier

Shelly @ Lousy Mom—Worst babywearing photo ever

Kate @ KateIsFun—Wordless Wednesday: Babywearing

Lauren @ Hobo Mama—Wordless Wednesday: Breastfeeding and babywearing

Emily @ Baby Dickey—Wordless Wednesday: babywearing

Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl—Wordless Wednesday: Every Babywearing Photo

Natasha @ naturalurbanmama—Wordless Wednesday: My Favourite Babywearing Pics

Renee @ Just the 5 of us!—Baby Wearing

Brooke @ Milk Maid Mama—Baby Wearing

Veronica @ Crunchy VT Mommy—Wordless Wednesday: Babywearing Photos

Anne @ Dou-la-la—Wordless Wednesday: Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival- Babywearing!

And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s Blog today is Sherrie Green—Wordless Wednesday: Babywearing Photos

Wearing her everywhere

2010-07-19T18:20:00.001-07:00

I started "babywearing" and not knowing that it was called that, when my first daughter was just a couple of weeks old. I only had a baby bjorn and wasn't knowledgeable about ANY baby wearing at all, later I learned that this type of carrier is not ideal for little ones under 6 months. I also had a commercial sling. I thought this would be a DREAM for wearing and nursing her, but alas, I tried to put her in this at only days old and she cried, I tried at other intervals and crying only ensued, so it was upright carrying for us.

Soon I was wearing her in that bjorn everywhere, even to go to the bathroom when she wouldn't let me put her down without crying, and it was a dream come true. Generally my baby girl liked to just sit with me, looking at me, but we lived in a culture where much walking was required and so into the bjorn she went.

My baby girl grew fast. I wore her in that bjorn well past when it was comfortable for me to do so. A friend suggested a mei tai and a woman online who made them. So I contacted this lady when my little one was about 10 months old. All sorts of drama and ridiculousness, it literally took 11 months to get to me. . . .I can't believe I toughed it out that long. And I won't go into the whole story as to why this woman had trouble after trouble that delayed the making and then the shipping. But. . . . my wonderful mei tai finally arrived when my little one was 21 months old. I can't remember now if I had been using other carriers, maybe a "moby" style wrap. I have several and can't remember the timeline now.

I know that I wore her in that bjorn frequently until at least her 1st birthday, and that at different times for the next 6 months or so, definitely in airports everywhere we went, as the stroller I'd push along just became a "glorified luggage cart."

When my first daughter was 21 months, we got that mei tai in the mail it and changed our lives. We got it just before a big trip, she was super mobile, super fast, on the move and in a stage of not being a great listener. Plus she was getting to an age where I was feeling more leary of nursing her in public, eventhough now when I look back, she was still SUCH a baby!!! The trip we went on was a workshop/conference and we were with people, old friends, from morning until late at night for several days in a row. I was able to put her on my back, sway her to sleep and naps and it was awesome. Plus I could keep tabs on her at all times.

By this time I'd also begun wearing a type of moby made out of a material I could wear in the pool, so I was able to wear her around in our indoor local pool.

A year later, baby wearing proved to be awesome while I was pregnant with our second little girl. I wore my oldest until at least 6 months pregnant with my second. She was nearly 3, and I definitely did not have the energy to always be chasing her. Our laundry room was in the building next door to our house, I would strap on my daughter, carry a huge laundry basket and my big pregnant belly around. It was so much easier than having to carry her on one hip and the laundry basket on the other, or drag her along, or even have her crying as I walked ahead with the laundry basket, not having the energy to either carry or drag her along. There were many times when I would wear her because I could see her neediness for holding and touching when I was just exhausted so much of that pregnancy. I was thankful for times I'd wear her to the park, because I can't imagine if I'd let her walk there and had to carry a tired tot back.

I wore that kid at concerts and "secretly" nursed her, I wore her in the cold just so we could be warm together, the pool, trips to the park, just to be close sometimes. While traveling on my own, about halfway through my pregnancy, oh. . . .and I have almost always worn her when traveling, especially on my own with her. . . . while traveling back from my in laws, she got sick, so I wore her through the airport to check in, and when we got to the next airport I wore her some more. Because she was so sick (molars, throwing up, fever) and there were people on standby, I opted to take the vouchers and stay overnight in Chicago. It was SIX HOURS before we would know if we'd need to catch a flight that night or not. . . .BLECH, and I wore her in the airport the entire six hours. Halfway through my pregnancy, wandering back and forth to find food and carrying all of the bags I had with me. . . . I was so thankful for baby wearing (though the stroller WOULD have been a nice addition at this point. . . but she stopped using the stroller about 15 months before this time, so I no longer took it anywhere with us).

When baby 2 came along, I started wearing her pretty much right away. She loves to be worn. She'll nurse to sleep almost anywhere as long as she's in that mei tai. With my first daughter, though she has always been a mama's girl, she did allow me to leave for periods of time. This second one, even to date (11 months old) can only stand about 45 minutes of mom being away before she's in total melt-down. So, I have worn her in every store in this city it seems. Baby 2 is a bit more "touch hungry" having to be held for naps, worn almost always, held constantly. And I am SOOOO thankful I am aware of baby wearing now. Even to date, I still wear my little one when she's tired and it's time to cook dinner, or do the laundry. When we walk to the park, eventhough she now happily sits in the stroller, I always bring along the mei tai because it's almost certain she'll become completely discontent at some point of the journey.

. . . I've worn both girls in two separate mei tais at the same time. . .my oldest LOVES that!! Once they BOTH fell asleep during a 30 minute walk through a store. . . one had her head hanging back away from my back, another hanging away from my front. . . . both girls have always liked the upright carrying systems.

I have used a variation on the moby wrap, which was great for going to the gym and walking the track (until baby was 6 months, because our gym doesn't allow baby wearing past that point on the track. . . an entirely different subject! And strollers aren't allowed on our indoor track either). I also had a variation of the moby wrap in a great fabric for the pool. I use the mei tai almost daily! I have THREE now. I used that bjorn for the first year and a half of my oldest daughters life. And on a very rare occasion I've used a ring sling that I had available, but I'm not very good at it and the girls don't prefer it.

Baby wearing has been so awesome for us. Without it I would surely have gone insane and not known how to deal with some of the "twos" that coincided with my pregnancy. But on those days I would just have to remind myself that I had baby wearing as an option, and an otherwise clingy, needy, fussing 2 year old would be completely calmed by her mama just strapping her on and going about her business. There have also been times with my new one where I was busy planning or preparing for some event or another and didn't get as much time with my little one during the day as SHE needed, but as able to strap her into the mei tai while shopping, giving her a nap, nursing her and getting in an extra hour or more of touch time to make up for it all.

I can not tell you HOW MANY complements I've gotten on my mei tais and how many people ask me where I got them or what they are called. I love to wear my babies to show other women that they could go into a store "carseat free," enjoying a CRY FREE shopping session with their babies, getting in extra snuggle time, breastfeeding without a blanket or having to pull over to the side of the store to sit down somewhere, and just seeing an overall happy baby swinging her fat little legs out the side of the mei tai as we wander the store.

I LOVE BABY WEARING!!!!

Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Sylko @ Chaotic Mama—Breastfeeding Carnival: Babywearing

Emily @ Baby Dickey—do you babywear?

Shelly @ Lousy Mom—Babywearing vs carrying

Amy @ Anktangle—I love babywearing

Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl—Our Babywearing Journey

Kimberly @ Monkey Tales Mama Thoughts—Wearing My Baby

Lexi @ Life As A Mommy—Baby on Board - Literally

Sarah @ Most Revealing—Do you babywear?

Kate @ KateIsFun—Babywearing

Melodie @ Breastfeeding Moms Unite!—Do you wear your babies?

Renee @ Just the 5 of us!—Wearing My Babies

Timbra @ Babes and Bosoms—Wearing her everywhere

Natasha@naturalurbanmama—Breastfeeding and Babywearing

And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s Blog today is Amanda Watsky—My Evolution in Babywearing

9lbs @ birth and in the NICU?

2010-07-19T18:18:00.000-07:00

My first daughter came into this world, she was beautiful, she was perfect, we never had a problem with nursing. So many women in La Leche League meetings seemed to have stories to tell, even thrush was like an entirely foreign universe, far from my perfectly uneventful start to breastfeeding. And then baby 2 came along. I don't want to be overly dramatic, there are some REALLY difficult births out there, some very serious complications and some babies and children who are struggling with things much much more serious than we ever had to, but having your 3 day old infant sent to the NICU is any parents worst nightmare and whatever difficult thing each of us deals with, is it's own personal hell, regardless of the "degree of difficulty." And any time the boundaries of your nursing relationship are put into the hands of others, it's a "special circumstance." So. . .though I COULD talk about tandem nursing, I think I'd like to share this part of our story instead.

Our second daughter was also perfect, at birth she was nearly 9 pounds with a lovely round little head. She came fast and furious when she decided to come. She was pink, she cried. . . she nursed in the first 30 minutes and then all night long that first night if my oldest daughter wasn't awake, my newest daughter was, and vice versa. She was born at 10:04pm, we finally got our 3 year old to sleep around 2 after all the excitement, and at 4am this new one was awake. . . she nursed straight through and finally slept again around 7, so while my eldest daughter and husband enjoyed pancakes that our midwife had made, my new baby and I slept. . . and less than 12 hours after she was born, we were on our way home.

A few hours later my mom commented on how "dark" this baby was. In the evening some friends stopped by and mentioned the same thing, the following day my sister also commented on it, and our little one was pretty yellow by this point. (I'd always expected a jaundiced child, my husband was jaundiced at birth and has a syndrome that causes jaundice.) She was sleepy, very sleepy, she hadn't nursed much through the night, but perhaps she was just doing fine on reserves and allowing us both to catch up on some rest. Day 3. . .time to get our check-up. My midwife came by for this and immediately commented on my "pumpkin" baby. I think, in some ways. . . I was with her the whole time, she was jaundiced, but it was a progression I wasn't seeing and I also didn't want to admit there COULD be something more serious going on. And then we got biliruben numbers back that day that were so high 1) the lab ran them a second time sure they were contaminated and 2)our pediatrician sent us for another round of labs because in "30 years of practicing medicine he'd never heard of a number so high" and was sure it was wrong. At 11pm, after a day of worry, a couple of hours in the ER, and our labs were all back a second time. . . . we were sent to the NICU at the children's hospital, because our local hospital "couldn't treat a baby THIS SICK!"

I nursed my baby around 11pm for the following 20 hours I was not able to hold or nurse her, I fought NICU staff on pacifiers and bottles and finally began to understand and gain some perspective on how mothers who did not have the same kind of information and knowledge base regarding breastfeeding, would, in a desire to do everything that is best for their babies, just give themselves over to the mercy of the NICU staff.

As I sat in an interview with the doctor who was basically calling the shots on my daughter, she was being hooked up to oxygen and saline and having blood drawn and I was not with her. . . she was barely 72 hours old. I was told I could nurse her before she was put under bili-lights and then every 3 hours "as quickly as possible" so she'd have as much access to light exposure as possible. They had to do some labs and if her numbers were still too high, a transfusion. When I got back to the room where she was, a nurse was holding a pacifier in my crying baby's mouth, I walked in horrified and told her I didn't want my baby to have a pacifier, she shouted "I had to do something she wouldn't stop crying!" OH. . .here's a thought. . . HOLD HER?!!! COME GET ME? LET HER FATHER NEAR HER? I think my husband was in as much shock as I was and didn't know what to do, he just stood there letting the staff "get to work." I sternly told the woman "I want nothing in her mouth besides me or a finger!" And still, she stood there HOLDING the pacifier in my crying baby's mouth. . . OBVIOUSLY she didn't want it. I think I actually had to shout "Take it out NOW!" Then I said I would nurse her, she told me I wasn't allowed to. . . I almost completely lost it. I didn't want to make enemies, I didn't want to do anything that was counter-productive to my baby's well-being but I also wanted to fight for my right to do the things I KNEW would benefit my baby. I already knew she was tongue-tied and at 3 days old, I didn't need some "sucking interference" being thrown at her. The Dr. walked in and backed me saying that I could in fact, nurse her before she was put under the lights. Then they were able to lay her on her belly, since she needed oxygen and had a canula in her nose, and SURPRISE SURPRISE, this position was okay with her. . .more comforting, no crying.

This nurse didn't speak to me for the next hour or so, we just sat there in silence, her back turned to me (busy with her paperwork).

Baby girl's blood was drawn, her numbers were high, she had to have a transfusion. They set to work putting a catheter in her umbilicus, at this point I was told I could no longer nurse her, they had to work with "urgency" and created a "sterile field" on her belly (a sterile field that would land her back in the hospital with a staph infection days after her discharge from the NICU. . . but that's not a story we'll get into here). . . . but the blood for the transfusion did not come for FIVE MORE HOURS. During this time I finally told the nurse that, since I couldn't hold or nurse my baby, if she was crying during the transfusion (or while waiting on blood) a pacifier was okay, because it was just too heartbreaking to listen to her crying. (During these several hours, the nurse did pacify my baby by putting her finger in her mouth when I wasn't able to! But I knew that during the transfusion, she wouldn't have the same ability to have a free hand at all times, or may not even be in arm's reach and there may not be anyone who could get close enough to offer a pacifying finger) She encouraged my decision and said to me "I'm a member of the breastfeeding support team, and I know what the literature says, but babies don't have any trouble nursing once they've had a pacifier." WHATEVER LADY! I'm the one who gets the moms emailing me because you think like that and say things like that!!! The transfusion took quite a long time, a few hours, and then a new attending Dr. was on for the morning rounds by this point.

She too told me I could NOT nurse my baby. At every turn when I was lead to believe if things went in a certain direction, we could go back to the original plan of holding and nursing for short periods, someone on staff would step in and tell me "No. . . now we want to wait for this new sign that things are going okay." The new reason. . . because if she had a full belly and they had to do another transfusion, it could really mess up her intestines/stomach and they were leaving the catheter in for several more hours until it was determined that she definitely would not require another transfusion. . . If it was determined that another transfusion wasn't necessary, for whatever reason the Doctor wanted to give her a bottle or an NG tube to start feeding her so they could monitor how much. COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY! This made me irate, I requested another feeding method and got a line about how "WE'VE breastfed thousands of babies successfully". . . .lady have you breastfed any babies successfully AT YOUR breasts? Or is "we" a figurative term here. . . ? I aired my frustrations to a nurse, asking why they couldn't use a syringe? She'd been a nurse for several years and this was a totally new idea to her. . "Oh, yeah, that makes sense, I'm not sure why they couldn't do that, I'm sure we could" (it was more about what the nurses were willing to put up with). The resident came through to check on us and give us an update and she got QUITE an earful regarding my discontent. And I did NOT want to confront her. I did not want to be one of those crazy ladies who thinks she knows everything about breastfeeding success and management in the face of the medical world and be given some other argument she couldn't talk down. . . but I WOULD NOT sit idly by. And this woman listened and . . . .

I think I was asleep, or I just wasn't in the room, and I got a semi-nasty call from one of the nurses "Are you going to come nurse your daughter?" WHAT? They told me they were going to have to give her a bottle or an NG tube last I'd heard. . . . my words had not fallen on deaf ears!!! After 20 hours, PS: Day 3 is a HORRIBLE day for a baby to have to "not nurse" I had to use the hospital grade pump MANY times and my breasts were killing me and completely engorged, but after 20 hours of not being able to even hold my baby, I was able to nurse her for FIVE WHOLE MINUTES :)And then I became a prescription. Suddenly I was told (and almost as though I was being punished) if you aren't here every three hours to nurse her (for five whole minutes she was allowed to be out from under the lights) we will put an NG tube in her to feed her (my pumped milk). In between feedings, I still had to pump, she was receiving nutritive saline or something, so she didn't nurse much, and she was still sleepy from being jaundiced. . .

I slept on the couch in the waiting room, we asked for blankets and pillows, every day at 7am and 7pm they disappeared because this was shift change and we were required to leave the NICU for an hour at each of these times. One time, I asked for a pillow and blanket and was told "You really aren't supposed to sleep in the waiting room." Another time I used one of the chairs that pulls out into a bed, in the hallway outside of the waiting room, where it was nice and bright (not like the lovely dark waiting room) and someone (staff) actually woke me up to ask me if I'd turn the chair so it wasn't facing out into the main walkway. . . the NICU is not a super parent friendly (therefore not a very breastfeeding friendly) place!!!! I HAD TO BE THERE to nurse my baby EVERY THREE HOURS. I got calls if I slept through my alarm, of course laying down and nursing was NO OPTION. I had to sit up in a chair the ENTIRE time I nursed my baby (longer stints later as she moved to just having to lay on the bili blanket, so I could hold and nurse her on the blanket for however long I wanted), and I had to stay awake too. . . . my postpartum physical recovery SUCKED!!! My butt hurt, I had to use my peri-bottle and change pads in the public bathroom ON THE WAY to seeing/feeding my daughter, after sleeping in horrible positions and being rudely awakened.

And we were only there 3.5 days. . .it felt like a LIFETIME!!! The first 24 hours felt like a lifetime of pumping and not holding my baby and wondering if her biliruben levels would maintain their downward turn. And we had to deal with all sorts of ridiculous "checklist" items. . . things that "normal" parents don't have to watch or do or prove before they can walk out of any hospital with any newborn baby. And I sometimes wondered where the checklist for the nurses was. . . I mean seriously. . . I couldn't believe that I was educating some of them regarding breastfeeding. I had to ignore literature about co-sleeping and nod my head in understanding. I applaud ANYONE who "lives" in the NICU longer than we did. . . and anyone who leaves the NICU with their resolve still in tact over breastfeeding and actually goes on to successfully breastfeed. . . there are SO MANY OBSTACLES!!!

And don't even get me started on tandem nursing. . .that's a completely different "special circumstance" all it's own :) One that was a pretty difficult balance with a confused toddler who didn't have her baby sis at home, and a mom who had also suddenly disappeared! But today my youngest daughter turns 11 months old. She is HUGE, she is thriving, she is wonderful and still completely perfect. Her first two weeks (remember, we were sent back with a staph infection) were trying and scary and frustrating particularly with how I felt like nursing her was a "prescription" the hospital staff felt they could monitor and change at any time. But I know that I was equipped with information and determination when I went into that situation and am positive that all that I've done, I've done to be the best mother to my baby.

(Incidentally, I recently learned that the first doctor, the one who gave us the initial consult in the NICU, is now being sure that all pediatricians who come out of the U are armed with a new breastfeeding curriculum and is interested in breastfeeding advocacy, AND has been attending breastfeeding coalition meetings. . .he is a 60 something year old man!!! I applaud his interest. I hope that some determined, informed mothers throughout the years have caught his attention and piqued his interest in advocacy!)

Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Sylko @ Chaotic Mama—Breastfeeding Carnival: Special Circumstances

Whitney @ According To Waddlebug: The (Un)Balancing Act of Motherhood—Breastfeeding a Dairy & Gluten Sensitive Babe

Lexi @ Life As A Mommy—Nursing in Pain

Guest Poster Angela @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl—Breastfeeding Twins: What I Wish I'd Known

Natasha @ naturalurbanmama—Nursing in Special Circumstances: Preemie, Pregnancy and a Pair of Nurslings

Heather @ The Bee in Your Bonnet—Whole Nine Months

Timbra @ Bosoms & Babes—Special Circumstance: NICU Nurses and Nursing

Guest Poster Kristin @ Nursing Freedom—Nursing in Public with Twins: My Story, My Thoughts

And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s Blog today is Melissa Knighton—No Dairy, Eggs, Soy, Peanuts, or Tree Nuts

The Best Non-Decision I Ever Made

2010-07-19T18:15:00.001-07:00

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on The Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about Importance of Breastfeeding. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

What a broad subject this is. . .I LOVE to write, I LOVE to reflect, so if you're looking for a quick read. . . you won't find it here!

Do I write all the reasons I love breastfeeding? Do I write the thousand and one reasons that breastfeeding is the best thing for babies (and mommies)? Do I write all the benefits?

I like these questions, they make me really reflect on the beginning of my breastfeeding relationship with my first daughter and now with both of my daughters. While pregnant, searching for a few final books to purchase and pack up with me on my way to Fiji, where our family would begin, I decided on the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I don't even know now, why it spoke to me, but that single book has put me on a mothering course for my life. I read that book, well, most of that book. And I struggled throughout to identify with it because the baby was always referred to as "he" and I knew that my baby would be "she." (Later I learned that this was so the reader would never wonder if "she" was speaking of baby or mother. . . makes perfect sense). And I read words like "nursing relationship" and "beautiful" and I still continued to feel that the reason for breastfeeding was pretty utilitarian for ME. . . .finances, good nutrition, "should breastfeed until 6 months" and I was going to do my minimum part. . . six months and we were through.

And then I had a baby. And I nursed that baby, because I knew I would. And nursing solved the problems of the ENTIRE WORLD. . . about forty-six times every single day. If she was hungry, she nursed, if she was tired, she nursed, if she was learning something new. . she nursed, if she just needed to suck, she nursed. . .if she was scared, or warm, or cold or happy, or sad, or needed to poop. . . she nursed. If someone else held her and gave her back to me, she wanted to reconnect, and she nursed. And it changed me, it shaped me, and I began to realize that the mother I always thought I'd be. . . I was not. . . and I wasn't sure I cared anymore. . . we were riding a wave of newness and of understanding between us, of trust and intuition, we were learning that our family did not have to be the families we'd grown up in or had come from, that we could just be whoever and whatever we needed to be for this baby.

During the first six months of our daughter's life, we lived in a culture where children were never told "no" (not for the first few years anyway), where babies were NEVER left to cry, bottles were uncommon, formula even less so, child lead weaning was a lot more common than I had ever known, soon after I had my daughter a friend told me that her then FIVE year old still nursed every once in a great while. . . this was mind-bending for me(the kid went to school for heaven's sake). I asked my doctor if the recommendation in this country was for babies to sleep on tummy or back. . . her response? "We don't give a recommendation, most people sleep with their babies, but if I have to give a recommendation, we go with Australia and say on their backs." What? EVERYONE slept with their babies? Maybe it was way different than I'd planned or wanted, but it worked for us and EVERYONE ELSE WAS DOING IT!! Breastfeeding made all of this so simple. . .

We also lived in a place where we walked almost everywhere, so it stood to reason that our journeys were long. We couldn't go "sit in a car" to breastfeed, there wasn't easy access to making (or taking) bottles everywhere we went, and we couldn't just run home (okay, we could LITERALLY RUN home, but not just hop in the car and go home) if we needed to make a bottle or whatever. . . .breastfeeding was available, accepted, always ready at a second's notice.

We lived in a country where the majority of people have dark skin, my BIG FAT WHITE BABY stood out everywhere we went. People want to squeeze her thighs, strangers kissed her little feet, sniffed her head (all cultural). Everyone KNEW this big baby was growing fat on mommy's milk, it was a given, no one wondered why she was thriving. Friends back home said things behind my back to one another like "Why doesn't she just nurse her less?" (I learned this many months later, from a friend who also enjoyed having a HUGE MILKY BABY and thought to herself "Nurse a baby less? That never occured to me!"). . .Until I came back to the US and began attending La Leche League meetings, I didn't even know that people were encouraged (or culturally just accepted) scheduling feedings (either by amount of time at each feeding/each breast or amount of time between feedings). This was a completely foreign concept to me. I didn't know that "nurse on demand" was a "recommendation" of an organization promoting breastfeeding. . . I just thought you were supposed to do that. Away from my "home" culture, away from my family, away from friends I might have gone to, to ask how I should mother, I was free to just be a mother. . . . nurse a baby ALL DAY LONG. . . and delight in the fact that every local person we passed was proud FOR me of MY baby!!! My "dalo thighs" (that's Fijian for "taro root". . . and if you've ever seen taro root with the brown skin stripped, you'd completely understand)!

Breastfeeding my children has been important to their well-being. It's comfort, it's nourishment, it's disease fighting, it's immunity boosting, it's a reset when we're breaking down (any of us), it's a quiet moment for a busy toddler, it's peaceful sleep for the whole family, it's closeness, and bonding, and reconnection when we've been apart and warm fuzzies for me too, and when I'm REALLY tired and don't know how to slow down, I just lay down with a tired, fussing baby who is demanding peace and quiet and she and I, nursing, sleeping. Breastfeeding, even extended breastfeeding, has been the absolute best decision (or maybe "non decision") we've ever made for our family. 4.5 years ago when I read words like "breastfeeding relationship" and references to its "beauty" it all felt a little too whimsical and romanticized. . .but I can tell you. . . this breastfeeding relationship is SATISFYING, it is BEAUTIFUL, it is AMAZING. . .

When I watch my babies cradled in my arms, or on my lap, holding me with both hands, caressing my skin as their little eyes roll back in their heads, sometimes tired out of their minds and just thankful to finally be at peace with their mommy, as I stroke their hair, or kiss their foreheads, or touch a cheek, rocking, swaying, singing, telling them over and over "I love you little girl". . . there is no better place in the world, no more magical moment than to know that my body was made to provide everything that these little wonders require to grow healthy and strong in the first months of their life, and to continue to provide substantial amounts of nourishment as well as emotional and mental nurturing, and that I am allowing myself and my daughters to take part in the exact thing we were both meant to do in this very moment.

Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Sylko @ Chaotic Mama—Breastfeeding Carnival: Importance of Breastfeeding
Sara @ The Covered Wagon—Nursing a Food Allergic Child
Shelly @ Lousy Mom—Importance of breastfeeding
Timbra @ Bosoms & Babes—The best non-decision I ever made
Shary @ Mama Fish—Why Breast Milk is Best
Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl—I Breastfeed For Me
Lauren @ Hobo Mama—Why breastfeeding is important
Kate @ KateIsFun—The Importance of Breastfeeding
Kaitlin Rose @ Bring Birth Home—Breastfeeding Came Naturally
Brooke @ Milk Maid Mamma—Why I Chose to Breastfeed
Lexi @ Life as a Mommy—Special Bonds
Whitney @ According to Waddlebug:The (Un)Balancing act of Motherhood—Importance of Breastfeeding
Natasha @ naturalurbanmama—Importance of Breastfeeding:X-men and Faberge Shampoo
Shelly @ Lousy Mom—Wheat allergies and working
And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s Blog today is Jen Karsbaek—Breastfeeding Helps Me Love My Son